An Open Letter to the Friends I Never See

Hello, it’s me. I’ve been wondering… just kidding I’m not going to do that. But seriously, hey friends, what’s up? It’s been ages, I swear.

I know I’ve been absent quite a while. The parties, birthday celebrations, the study sessions and all the rest of the gatherings that I’ve wiggled my way out of or simply just said I was too busy for – well they weigh on my mind.

I don’t mean to be so evasive. But somehow that’s how I’m coming off.

You of all people know that I’ve been having a tough semester… emotionally, physically, mentally I’ve been a bit of a mess. And through it all, you’ve been so supportive, so kind.

Your check-in texts, little gifts and notes, your hugs and your listening ear – they all mean so much to me. And while I wish I had more of myself to give back to you, that’s just simply not where I’m at right now.

Because my daily train of thought moves from homework to babysitting to exercise and then to sleep. Because at the moment I’m on autopilot, just going through the motions, avoiding the major pitfalls and simply doing what’s expected and required of me as a student and employee and functioning human.

One day soon I hope to be myself again, to be the friend you’ve always been to me: lively, joyful, supportive, positive, eager for adventure and fun, spontaneous and full of youth.

But in the meantime, all I can say is: thank you. From a place of the most sincerity, thank you so very much for being such wonderful friends when I truly needed you.

Thank you for checking in on me, for continually inviting me out (even when I continually turn down the invite), for listening to me cry, for sharing in my silence, and for valuing my recovery. For you, I am so grateful.

So to you, my dear friends who I never see: (1) thank you, (2) I love you, and (3) I’ll be around soon.

With the utmost gratitude, 

Brittany