When walking from class one Fall morning, my friend and I stumbled upon a situation where we were not so sure how to handle ourselves. While already involved in one conversation, a third party came over to chat and we did not know whether to turn our backs to our original converser, ignore the third party, or straight up say, “G2G” to avoid any awkwardness. This got me thinking about who do we say hi to, who do we ignore, at what point is a full-on conversation appropriate, and when do we just give the head nod? And most importantly, why isn’t there a UC course in “Diag Etiquette!?!?!”
I took the time to address these questions, well the ones that I could attempt to answer (I may have to take up the UC course idea with my trusty LSA advisor, Phil, but the others I could handle)…..
Who do we say hi to?
When to say hi, hey, whatsup, hello, hola, or the occasional yo, is almost a more difficult question than whether to wear maize or blue to the next football game. There is no formula or app to give you the answer, you really just have to go with your gut. My advice is if the person were to not say something to you and you were to be upset or think “SHIT! Wtf did I do to piss that bitch off?” just say hi! But, I know your hesitancies. Nothing is worse than saying whatsup to someone and having them look at you like you have six ears and a mustache on your forehead…
Who de we ignore?
This question is much easier to answer and most of the answers refer directly to the other sex. You STRICTLY ignore your drunk Rick’s hookup from last weekend, your drunk hookup buddy from freshman year Dream nights, the person your roommate is obsessed with, the person who you sit behind in your AmCult discussion who you have the biggest crush on yet he/she has no idea you exist, etc. You get the point. I know you are dying to say those two letters…but don’t and you will thank me in the long run when you aren’t kicking yourself for seeming desperate and lonely…lol, but seriously.
Helpful hint with this category: Always have your phone on hand so you can use it to fake text your bestie who goes to Miami or speed dial your Mom in a heartbeat.
At what point do we conduct a full-on conversation?
Full-on conversation should be left for the timeslots of :01-:05, giving you time to get to class with no problems and should not be held in one of the branches of pathways that are always congested with heavy traffic. Otherwise, go for it! A nice chat always makes my walk through campus more enjoyable…that is until it becomes winter!
When do we just give the head nod?
NEVER! You are a girl.
Unless, you are that cool and know you are that cool and can pull off the head nod. Shoutout to my friend who convinced me some girls are actually cool enough to pull it off…
What about the Buddy System?
The buddy system. We loved it as children; you’ll love it as a young lady! Walking with a friend through the Diag is the best invention since ordering BurgerFi’s French Fries late night. Let me explain…all these awkward encounters immediately become less awkward around other people. Waving to someone who doesn’t wave back is way funnier when you have someone to laugh with. You get my gist? They are also great “conversation cockblocks” to any situation. In the instance I opened with, the best thing that could have happened was that there were two of us. One could pursue the conversation with the third party, while the other could continue the chat with the first converser. Really, having a buddy to walk through the Diag with is key to a successful trip to class.
So, while there are still millions of questions unanswered about how to act in the Diag, I hope this quick tutorial was helpful! Just remember, it could always be worse, your classes could be on North…
With that being said, I hope tomorrow’s walk to class consists of squirrels aggressively close, a couple of casual hellos and no fake texts to your bestie at Indy when you are trying to avoid eye contact.