Post-college life has its perks; no studying after already being in class all day and no such things as grades. However, as a working collegiette, I now lack those college friends that lived a block or two away from me. I miss the luxury of walking over to North Quad or houses on Ann Street to see friends. I can no longer send quick “Hey what are you up to?” texts and, minutes later, get lunch with friends on State Street. Many recent graduates may face similar issues in transitioning from a college campus filled with similar-aged students, to starting from scratch in developing friendships in a new town. While we strut into this new phase of life, it’s important to maintain college friendships; those peers who served as our partners-in-crime during long study sessions at the Grad or those crazy nights out on South U. However, the “out of sight, out of mind” thought process is a tempting trap to fall into, especially after leaving college. Honestly, we may meet many people in life, but finding those few individuals with whom you truly connect well is rare, so value those old friendships. Below are some methods you can use to reconnect with old friends and carry those amazing college memories into this new chapter.
- Revisit phone calls. Dial your friend’s number and call him or her! With our increasing use of technology, we lose some of that personal touch. Voice-to-voice conversations create a more life-like experience. The conversation flows better, and you avoid mechanical question-answer sessions. For instance, “Hey what’s up – Nothing much, you?” scenarios. Also, a person can’t really detect the humor, sarcasm, or anger in a text or Facebook message. She will either take the words literally or over think your comment. In contrast, phone calls allow you to elaborate your thoughts. When you’re talking to your close friends, phone calls are a great way to re-connect and momentarily dissipate the physical distance.
Start waning away from Facebook as a method for keeping in touch with friends. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great social networking tool, but hours of creeping on your friends’ photos and wall posts is not the same as directly talking to them about those same events. It creates a false sense of intimacy by giving us a magnifying glass to look into people’s lives. When you feel yourself increasingly curious about one of your old friends on Facebook, use it as motivation to call them up!
- Send a hand-written letter. Yes, this is a very old-fashioned method of communication, but letters hold a certain charm. Sending a well-thought letter to someone shows that you’ve taken time out of your day to remember her. Even more so, the process of writing provides time for self-reflection, as you figure out how to articulate your thoughts. That way, you don’t jump the gun and instinctively respond to someone, like you may do when responding to a text or Facebook message. The whole experience may send you back to a nostalgic period of your friendship and confirm their importance in your life. A hand-written letter can be one of the most personal and sweet gifts you could send someone.
- Opt for a post-card. If you’re not one for long moments of self-reflection or lack time in your work-filled schedule, sending a quick post-card is a decent substitute for a letter. They’re low-key with limited space for writing, so you don’t feel pressured to write a novel. I recently went to NYC with my family and decided to buy some cute, touristy post-cards to send to friends. They loved the thought. Even if you haven’t gone anywhere new lately, send one from the state in which you work!
- Shoot a surprise text. – Our phones are ever-so handy gadgets that we basically carry everywhere. Why not send your friend a text when you hear a song, see some sign, or have something else remind you of her? It’s a casual, quick, yet still effective way at reminding someone that she has crossed your mind. You never know what someone’s going through, and a simple text could brighten their day.
- Plan a reunion. As we grow up, our schedules become more crammed with long “to-do” lists until fun events become “I should have” or “I would have” stories. Like anything else, make priority for friends every once in awhile by planning a yearly get together or whatever fits everyone’s schedule best. Especially at this stage of our lives, our schedules are probably a little more flexible without the added pressures of a family (yet). It’s the perfect time to plan visits with friends.
- Keep them in the loop. Keep your closest friends updated on your big life moments, such as a new job, studying abroad, a new house, and perhaps a new guy you’re seeing! It’ll close that distance that slyly invades our lives with time, as we reason through our anti-social behavior with our busy schedules. Your initiative in contacting them may be reciprocated.
A major wall to reconnecting with friends is the thought that it’s been too long and that it’ll be awkward to try and talk with them now. Regardless of how long it’s been since you spoke with someone; don’t be afraid of reaching out! We’re all human and sometimes other things in life get in the way of maintaining prior friendships. It’s so easy to make excuses about “not having enough time” to get in touch with people, but this is a more a self-induced mental block that we create. The methods I’ve shared take up as much time as you want to invest; meaning minutes to hours. The rewards in reconnecting with old friends are far greater than the effort it takes to reach out. Our closest friends keep us grounded and bring balance into our busy schedules, so take a few minutes to remember them and reach out.