Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault.
For many students coming to college, the concept of sexual assault is difficult to stomach. While any reasonable person realizes that the experience of being unfairly taken advantage of is both serious and frightening, many students can underestimate the severity of the offense because it seems unlikely to happen.
Unfortunately, this is not the case. The National Sexual Violence Resource Center reports that one in five women are sexually assaulted while in college. There are survivors struggling all around this campus. No one can truly understand how difficult going through an experience like this is until it happens to them.
Cass Bouse-Eaton, a junior at the University of Michigan, surely understands this pain. After being taken advantage of her Freshman year at a fraternity, Cass spent great lengths of time coping with the effects this horrific situation. Luckily for the University of Michigan campus, Cass admirably uses her experience to build others up and become an even stronger and more powerful individual in our community.
Her Campus was fortunate enough to get the opportunity to talk to Cass about her experience as a whole; her full journey from initially coping with being sexual assaulted to speaking out as an activist.
Her Campus: How did you react to the incident at first?
Cass Bouse-Eaton: I was completely in shock, and I didn’t really know what to do about it. I was quiet for about a day or two, but I’ve never been good at hiding. So, I told my sorority big and my parents. I then decided to become involved in an investigative program through the university to further understand my case and hopefully earn justice for myself.
HC: What were the most difficult parts of this process for you?
CBE: The hardest part of going through this investigative process, which I was not prepared for, was how difficult it was to relive that night over and over again. While one never truly is able to erase an event like this from her memory, I was constantly forced to recount the details of what I remembered, which was very limited. I also wasn’t treated with the immediate respect I deserved. The attacker claimed that he thought I was sober and that I had put forth consent; however, I did not have any drinking experience in high school and was over nine shots deep. The university took him at his word and, even after I went through an appeals process, he was found not guilty.
HC: Did you feel a lot of support throughout this time?
CBE: Yes and no. I felt a lot of support from my big sister in my sorority, my family, and my boyfriend, but I did face some problems with my pledge class. Because I was having a hard time connecting with the girls in my pledge class, I found it very hard to reach out. My friends would get tired of hearing me talk about the incident so often; however, talking about the issue was not something I could stop doing. Sexual assault isn’t something you get over: it sticks with you, and never truly goes away.
HC: Were there points where you felt like giving up?
CBE: Absolutely. Dealing with this issue felt like dealing with another class; I wasn’t sleeping, and there were days when I lacked the motivation to do anything. For example, I reached out to a Spanish teacher to attempt to communicate to her my reasons for not fully engaging myself in the class. However, she responded apathetically. I was told that I must come in to meet with her about this issue and tell her entirely in Spanish to gain any sort of support from her. I then dropped the class, becoming a part-time student that semester. I lacked the ability to take on a full schedule because dealing with this situation was a time commitment in itself.
HC: When did things start to turn around? Were there any specific moments?
CBE: The first turning point occurred when I met another girl two years older than me who had dropped her sorority. We actually connected through working with the same lawyer. We would just sit in her room and talk for hours. It was so valuable to me to have someone who I could connect with and trust, and who never got tired of me. I then continued to feel more confident and able to deal with this issue as I focused on helping other people. I joined Panhel Peer Educators, a group of women in Greek life who aim to educate their sororities about sexual assault and issues of this nature. The girls in this group are just the most incredible group of women. I felt so happy to be working with people who cared, and the connections I felt to this group was so unlike anything I had seen before in Greek life. I continued to connect and help others with similar experiences as I developed the idea for a “speak out,” a community gathering where the floor is open for a sharing of experiences in a confidential setting. Our first speak out was completely packed, and it was really powerful. You just typically don’t talk about things like this so openly, and girls really opened up.
I found myself again through helping others and connecting with good friends. However, an issue like this also just requires time: it’s like a cut, it needs time to scab over and heal, but scars nonetheless. It’s an issue that will stick with me, but that I will not let define who I am. I deserve to be at this university, and it will not stand in my path to success.
HC: Thank you so much for sharing your story, Cass. You are an incredibly strong woman, and it is so inspiring to see how you have turned a frightening and utterly damaging event into a movement for support and change. You serves as an important role model for all women at Michigan.
If you are a survivor of sexual assault, please be aware of the following University of Michigan resources that can help you confidentially:
SAPAC 24-Hour Crisis Line: (734) 936-3333; https://sapac.umich.edu/
SAFE House 24-hour crisis line at (734) 995-5444; http://www.safehousecenter.org/
For more resources, please see: https://sapac.umich.edu/article/46
Photo courtesy of: Cass Bouse-Eaton.