I want to make it very clear that, like many collegiettes, I have a makeup
addiction. I use makeup almost everyday, and can’t kick the habit. But I don’t
see this as a problem – I really don’t want to kick the habit. I view makeup
as a creative outlet, and the crayon-like eyeliners, sparkly bright
eye shadows, and rosy blushes take me back to coloring within the lines in the days
of elementary school. I like to think the end result doesn’t look like a
second grader’s handy-work, but it’s fun regardless. The fact that
people who do make-up professionally go by the title “makeup artist”
doesn’t leave too much debate as to whether doing make-up is actually an
art, but there are times when the art takes a turn for the worse. I feel
the need to justify the makeup mistakes of women by assuming they act as
markers of superpowers.
Spiderwoman: These women wear enough mascara to hold several pounds of
weight on top of their eyelashes. Their lashes almost form one single,
solid chunk like those on the dolls whose eyes close when you lay them
down. I, personally, believe they are spiders by night and their eyelashes
let each other know that they’re on the same team. Whether I’m right or
wrong, giving these girls a reason for having to cake on the mascara is
something that has to be done to justify this tragedy. Also, I’m just
broke and would never be able to afford buying a new tube of mascara every
week. I’m sure the secret society of spiderwomen provides funding for
that, though.
Invisiwoman: Women who leave a solid line between the skin on their face
and the skin on their neck, leaving evidence that they are capable of
changing skin tones at any moment. It’s clear that they have
chameleon-esque characteristics, and if the consequence of having this
superpower is a harsh make-up line, I can understand why these women wear
their make-up lines loud and proud. I, however, think I would only sport an
extreme make-up line for the super power of flight…
Tigerwoman: These women are clearly tigers by night. They sport a full face
of bronzer, shining bright orange in the daylight. Their orange coloring
makes for an easier transformation from day to night and allows them to
tell friend from foe. Their orangey brown tone may help camouflage them
from the dust in their tiger-state, but it has the opposite effect during
the day. I’m not sure having the ability to be a tiger even justifies
this one…I’m really digging deep to find a reason why this offense
would ever be acceptable.
Make-up isn’t meant to alert people of your superpowers, though. It
should be a means of expression and enhancement of your beauty. Even if
you’re addicted like I am, taking a few days off (cold turkey if you have
to) is always a good thing. Have fun with make-up and play around with
it – the worst-case scenario might be that you wipe it off and try something new. It’s the art of make-up!