Ah, nothing like the sweet, sweet smell of hookup culture on a college campus. While some are definitely prepared for the debauchery that flourishes on college grounds, for others, it is quite the culture shock. What used to be a casual, flirtatious text in high school is suddenly comparable to a marriage proposal in college. As a matter of fact, texting in general is almost completely wiped off the agenda. Getting a much-coveted text from a boy instead of just a Snapchat is rare in this abysmal, shallow hookup culture to which we all succumb.
So what is there to do in this hookup-at-night-in-dark-rooms-but-never-talk-in-real-life-or-care-to-get-to-know-one-another-on-a-deeper-level cycle? Stop adhering to these oppressive “rules” that have taken over our perception of relationships and caused commitment to become taboo.
1. Open his snap. Or text. What. Ever. You don’t have to wait 45 minutes to open a snap not to seem eager. Shockingly, you might actually might want to talk to this kid — so open the snap whenever it is that you happen to stumble upon it. However, if you prefer to feel the comfort of having his name in your notifications for however long that might be, then that’s your prerogative.
2. Make moves to hang out soberly. The first step is admitting you have a problem… but actually. There’s nothing wrong with a little liquid courage every now and then, but when an entire semester flies by and you realize that you haven’t kissed a boy soberly since August, it is time to re-evaluate your reliance on alcohol to feel more comfortable being yourself around dudes. The cold, hard, sober truth ☹
3. Text him first. Things seem to be going well? Swell. Now let’s chill with the whole “girls don’t text first” thing and swing him a text if you want to grab a burger or show him the dope playlist you just created. Stakes are low.
4. Communicate. Been hooking up for months and still feel uneasy about what is going on between you two? Ask what the deal is. Don’t like the answer? Abort mission quick before you fall deeper. Or if you’re the stubborn type, stick around and attempt to make this man fall for your wonderful self. Up to you and how much you are willing to put up with.
5. Do what is in your best interest. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind. Our generation perpetuates the idea that speaking about feelings is synonymous with weakness and vulnerability — and who wants to feel weak or vulnerable? No one. But what exacerbates self-doubt and insecurity? Letting your feelings build up inside you. Don’t let this boy troll you, or act like your opinions and feelings aren’t valid. What’s more important to your well-being than what you feel and what keeps you up at night? Not much.
Don’t be passive. Don’t just let things happen to you. This is your college experience. Don’t let a boy or two define your second semester freshman year, your semester abroad junior year, or literally ever at all. Don’t let a boy get you down because he’s not mature enough to appreciate the greatness that is right in front of him. However, if hook up culture is where you thrive and you’re the “female version of a hustler” (@Beyoncé), get after it and do your thing. Otherwise, small changes in communication with the boys we kiss are the key to evolving this unfortunate, disengaged form of hooking up that most of us endure.
Images courtesy of @howto_flirt on Instagram and the Odyssey Online.