1. It’s Tuesday Afternoon and you are actually done with classes for the break (because let’s be real, nobody actually goes on Wednesday). You never thought you’d make it.
2. You anxiously hit the road (or the sky) to journey home.
3. Black Wednesday happens…or does it?
4. You pass out with dreams of mashed potatoes, turkey, and pumpkin pie dancing in your head.
5. IT’S THANKSGIVING! Glorious, glorious Thanksgiving!
6. The house is abuzz with food prep (which you kindly cheer on from a distance).
7. Your family insists on praying before stuffing their faces.
8. Finally time to eat!!!
9. 15 minutes in and you’re feeling fresh.
10. This is the best day of your life.
11. Cleared plate one. You tell that turkey who’s boss, girl.
12. You go in for seconds. The fullness is starting to hit, but you press on.
13. You loosen your pants and start thinking it might be time to stop, but you look around and everyone else is still eating and you can’t lose Thanksgiving. YOU CAN’T LOSE THANKSGIVING!
14. Immobility sets in. You want pie so badly, but it’s so far.
15. Luckily, grandma’s up and moving and offering up slices of pie. You’re in.
16. What just happened?
17. So. Uncomfortable. And. Tired.
18. Better get up and make it look like you’re trying to help with the clean-up.
19. You might even “do some dishes.”
20. Food coma picks up where it left off.
21. Football games aplenty happen…
22. You wake up to the smell of leftovers being reheated! Lucky for tomorrow’s lunch, you’re still pretty full and can’t really shove too much more into your stomach.
23. Gotta get to bed early for tomorrow’s festivities.
24. IT’S BLACK FRIDAY! The only day of the year besides Christmas when you’re willingly awake before the sun. You might even get crazy and blast some of Rebecca Black’s “Friday” on this Black Friday to really pump you up.
25. You go in for the kill. You avoid wearing your favorites in case there is any bloodshed at the local mall.
26. You’re scoring left and right here. Just when your competition tries to make a move, bam.
27. Never felt better. Actually you feel like a goddamn champion because you know there’s no way in hell your friends are finding better deals than you.
28. Some people win gold medals, you win Black Friday.
29. You bask in your glorious trophies, proud to show them off to family and friends.
30. Re-fuel with some Thanksgiving leftovers.
31. PTFO
Repeat 30 & 31 until Sunday night when nothing’s right in the world again…
Until next Thanksgiving Break, that is.