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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at U Mass Boston chapter.

Those who know me usually associate me as the girl who always has a boyfriend. Some may say “serial dater.” Hell, my best friend and I have a bet going where I’m not allowed to date anyone for four months, otherwise I owe her $100. But how did it get this way? 

Since freshman year of high school, when I learned how to speak to boys, I’ve had nonstop boyfriend after boyfriend. I’ve been called heartless, accused of not liking them, and referred to as a manipulator, but these things aren’t true. 

Since I began college, I started paying close attention to my behavior and feelings more than ever. Because of this, I found out many things about myself. In particular, I realized that the reason I was able to move on from boyfriend to boyfriend almost “too quickly” was simply because I would come to terms with the breakup before the actual breakup occurred. 

For example, in my freshman year of college, I was dating a boy from my hometown. Only an hour apart, but I was beginning college and he had begun a full-time job, which was a tough situation to maneuver around… Our priorities were in much different places. 

Of course, I didn’t break up with him simply because of this. There were many deciding factors, but having such an on-and-off relationship helped me to thoroughly think through the positives and negatives of us being together. This being said, I knew what I wanted very much before our final breakup. 

However, that doesn’t take away from the immense feelings I held for him during our time together. I loved that boy for a long time. The breakup was a change, but I’d say it was a change that I needed. 

Roughly a month following our breakup, I began to hang out with other guys, which, if you’re from a small town, quickly got back to him. We weren’t in contact at the time, but I heard many scenarios of others speaking on the situation and how I was basically in the wrong for moving on. 

These exact circumstances have occurred to me over and over again. 

It was, and still is a hard thing to deal with at this age, especially during a time when we are so dependent on other people’s opinions of us. We live in a world where we constantly compare ourselves to others with the help of social media. We’re jealous of other people’s looks, relationships, wealth, really anything we can find. 

It’s such a hard habit to quit, caring about what other people think of you. I still find myself talking to my friends about a new guy and almost stopping myself because I’m embarrassed about what they’ll think. 

We just need to remember that everybody is always going to have something to say. You can heal from a breakup however you need to heal. You can dress however you want to dress. You can like whatever genre of music you want to like. 

Kayla Alves

U Mass Boston '26

Kayla Alves is a sophomore at UMass Boston. She is a business management major with a concentration in marketing and a minor in communications. She joined Her Campus Umass Boston Chapter because she has always had a love for reading and writing. More recently, she has joined the recruitment team as a co-director. Super excited to join this community of writers!