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Why Does My Never Changing Dunkin Order Taste Different? Every. Single. Time.

Let’s just talk about it… we've all been thinking it… someone had to say it… my never-changing Dunkin order is NEVER the same. 

Imagine this: you wake up on Sunday morning exhausted from weekend festivities and excited for the coffee that you get like once a week. Medium iced coffee, liquid cane sugar, 3 cream, and light ice. That’s all it is. A pretty basic order right? Well, apparently not. 

I can’t be (and know I’m not!) the only one who notices that my Dunkin coffee is either a big hit or a HUGE miss. I either finish my once-a-week coffee in 5 minutes, or it sits half full on the table for the rest of the day. Something about it sometimes just tastes so wrong. My friends and I have speculated, and our final guesses are either the brew burnt, it was the bottom of the pot, or someone is just spitting in our drinks before the final handoff in the drive-thru. But then on the other cold winter mornings, it tastes heavenly and is *nervously screams* somewhat comparable to Starbucks (FYI the 99 cents McDonald's coffee is just as comparable!). 

[bf_image id="wg43fqbncc7kmbcmktr868kc"] I’ve always said Starbucks is better — the coffee simply tastes better, employees usually seem happier, and not to mention they got rid of the straws. These luxuries come with a steeper price and an extra 5 minute drive through this busy college town. Trust me, when I can get Starbucks I do… venti iced coffee, regular cream, classic syrup, and light ice. If I'm feeling fancy or have a free drink, I'll go for a caramel macchiato. But sometimes you have to take the risk and pray that your Dunkin will be good this time. On Brooke Miccio's Instagram reel, @dsn27's comment reads “I love Starbucks cause it’s consistent, Dunkins is always a gamble and devastating when you’re craving it and it doesn't pull through.” I couldn’t have said it better myself girl. The only consistency I see from Dunkin is the monthly deals they put out: free iced coffee on Mondays, free hot coffee with purchase, etc, which is one thing I don’t have a complaint about.

[bf_image id="hgss8p25kp28nk8q8k9kkf8z"] So let's say it's a bad Dunkin day. How do you know? You don’t...until that daunting first sip. Sometimes this can be fixed with a few jelly munchkins or a glazed donut… but not always. Especially when you feel like Spongebob in that episode of him drying up saying “WAAAAAATERRRRR,” but it’s just the coffee thirst quench for you. 

So Dunkin, in case you’re reading this by any chance… I’ll never say another ill word or slander your name ever again. But here's the deal, free coffee for life, or at least until my future kids are moved out of the house. We all know somethings up, but for as low as *free coffee for life,* I’ll keep quiet and let you keep doing whatever you’re doing. Think about it...

Rebecca Girshik

U Mass Amherst '22

Rebecca is member of HC as a senior OIM major! When she's not writing articles she's cooking, online shopping, hanging out with friends (+dogs), or staying active with her fam!
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