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Three Things I Learned From Becoming My Own Best Friend

I love my best friends. I’m so lucky to be able to say that I have friends that lift me up and allow me to be my authentic self. But what happens when a global pandemic strips you of your movie nights and joy rides around town blasting music? You become your own best friend. And you wonder why you didn’t do it sooner. Learning to fill in that role of a best friend for yourself will teach you so much, but here are my three biggest takeaways: 

  1. 1. Self Love

    person holding book in a bath

    I often struggled (and still do, sometimes) with giving so much love to others that I forget about my own self. Treating myself as I would one of my best friends allows me to give myself that same love that I so easily give to others. For example, if a friend were struggling with something, I would never tell them that their feelings are not valid. So why am I so quick to do that to myself? It’s as simple as being kind, and telling ourselves what we would tell a friend. Especially on a bad day, when we mess up, and any time where that critical inner voice is quick to jump in. Instead, give yourself a hug, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that it is okay to feel what you’re feeling. On the other hand, celebrate your wins! Hype yourself up! Look in the mirror and be like “damn, you look good today.” Love yourself on the bad days and the good ones. 

  2. 2. Independence 

    Black woman holding flowers behind back

    The hard truth is, other people may not always be there for you. It is incredibly freeing to release the reliance on others for support or happiness. Learning to be your own best friend means you can do those things on your own, you can find it within. It gives you the opportunity to really learn and understand yourself, from the things that interest you to the things that set you off. Spend a night alone this weekend, buy yourself flowers, or go on a solo date to a place that you love. Peace, happiness, and independence can be found in solitude. You just have to be willing to sit through the initial discomfort of being alone.


  3. 3. Inner Strength

    girl meditating at sunset

    A quote I saw on pinterest read, “It takes a very strong individual to sit with themselves, calm their storms, and heal all of their issues without trying to bring someone else into that chaos.” Letting go of reliance on others means sitting with uncomfortable emotions and feelings, and working through things on your own. This is challenging, but we only grow through discomfort. In turn, it will reveal a powerful inner strength. While it is most definitely important to ask for help when we need it, we can also find that balance and learn how to do it on our own. Other people may not always be available, but you have every second of every day. Sit with yourself, calm your storms, and you will find that you harness so much more inner strength then you may have realized.


You’ve got you for life, so learn about and love yourself inside and out. Just like you do for your best friends.