One major thing you probably thought of when you were in high school envisioning your college experience is, of course, guys. Meeting them, dating them, hooking up with them, hating them, the list goes on. This was definitely something I thought of when I was younger, but my plans changed when I met my now 6-year boyfriend my sophomore year of high school. I’ll let the whole “6-year” thing settle in before I continue. Good?
I get it, it’s a long time. Just because I’ve had a boyfriend for such a while though doesn’t mean It’s been all hunky dory. I haven’t been floating on rose petals with my love life for the entirety of my college career, believe me. It’s been extremely hard and everyone must know that. From what I can see, having a boyfriend in college totally changes your college experience.
There are a couple of things that make having a boyfriend through college extra difficult. First and foremost, parties. Parties are completely different when you’re taken. For some reason, they don’t seem as appealing. Don’t get me wrong, shaking your ass with your girlfriends while tipsy and everything is completely great. What happens when they’re all on the hunt, though? Do you play wing (wo)man, or do you sit in the corner with (if you’re lucky enough to have one) your other taken friend and talk about doubling. That excitement to go out and meet a guy just isn’t something us gals with boyfriends have of course, but that doesn’t mean we are all a bunch of fun sponges either.
Weeknights can also be a different experience for us taken gals. Those nights that your roommate has her hook up over to “watch a movie” or she goes to his place and you’re just texting away wishing you could easily drive to your boyfriend’s apartment within five minutes are tough. Weeknights can feel lonely and there’s only so much Real Housewives you can watch until you’re forced to find a new time filler.
So, yeah, it may sound bad. I’ve stated that parties (basically weekends) and weeknights are pretty difficult when you’re in a college long distance relationship and that pretty much covers every day of the week. Fret not, ladies, you can and you will survive.
I’m here to tell you, you’re not alone. Sure it feels isolating when you’re at Hobart and everyone is paired off while you text your boyfriend from 100 miles away. Or when your girlfriends are raving about their walks of shame and one night stands, you may feel a little out of place. Who would have thought a walk of shame would sound kind of cool? The grass is always greener, ladies.
Unite, taken girls. Just because it’s damn hard to have a boyfriend in college, especially one that doesn’t attend the same school, doesn’t mean you should give up. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have the all coveted “college experience” either, but how many of your girlfriends actually want to be single? They may say so, but do they actually mean it? Would they turn it down if the opportunity presented itself?
The best advice I could give to keeping a good relationship for such a long time, college included, is to learn to have fun outside of the excitement of guys because believe it or not, there’s more to life. If everybody in your friend group is single, branch out and find at least one friend that has a boyfriend that you can relate to.
Keep yourself busy. Join a club and focus on your studies. Having a far-away-boyfriend can be a blessing for your GPA.
Also, not to sound corny, but absence makes the heart grow fonder, and having time to miss your boyfriend is sometimes the best thing for a relationship. Each time you see him once a month or maybe more, it’s so exciting and it feels new. It makes the hard weekend nights yearning for the guy-excitement your friends have worth it. Plus, if you two can survive college, you’re looking pretty good in the future.
Oh, and don’t stress yourself about making it work, either. If you find that it’s just too difficult and you’re not into it anymore, tell him. It’s way better to end it than find yourself in a huge mess living a double life. You shouldn’t have to bend over backwards and put too much effort into a worthy relationship, no matter the distance. Whatever you decide, best of luck! HCXO.
Photo Source
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