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It goes something like this: it all starts with some casual conversations. Then, you find yourself talking to him more and more every day. Before you know it, even the thought of being with him brings you to a level of happiness you haven’t felt in a very long time. When you’re not with him, you wish you were. And when you are with him, it’s sheer bliss. The best part? You know he couldn’t let go of you either.

Or, at least you thought he couldn’t. Maybe it happens all at once, or maybe it’s a slow, anxiety-filled bubble. The small, sweet things that he used to do disappear. One day, the anxiety bubble finally pops, and it’s heart breaking. What happened? Where did I go wrong? are the questions you might ask yourself. Well, beautiful, you didn’t go wrong. When Mr. Almost Right lets you down, it’s because he wasn’t right for you at all.

Should you try and move on, or try to fix what used to bring you so much joy? After all, he was everything you wanted. He was sweet, caring, and treated you better than anyone before. You think, maybe he’ll realize he made a mistake, right? After all, you two were great together. Stop. Right. There. The only mistake in this situation would be you wasting any more of your time on someone who was foolish enough to let you slip away in the first place. You two were great together, but now that things have changed and the good times are over, it’s time to move on. But why is doing just that so hard?

You probably have the perfect idea of who you want to be with, which is wonderful because it means you know exactly what you’re looking for, and won’t settle for anyone who does not fill your expectations. Most likely, Mr. Almost Right is the closest you’ve found to your ideal companion. You have an impression of how Mr. Almost Right is so perfect, but unfortunately, that’s all it is. Just an impression. Consequently, you’ve been projecting this perfect man onto him, when he has proven over and over again that he is not what you think he is. In fact, he’s nowhere near perfect. So, you aren’t actually head over heels for him, but rather the identity you’ve given him. Every time you catch yourself thinking about him and what could have been, remember that if he was as great as you’re imagining he is, things wouldn’t have gone sour.

It’s hard to grasp that someone you used to love so dearly isn’t part of your life anymore. But, thinking about him, and dreaming of a day where you might be together again is destructive, and will hold you back from the happiness that you so rightly deserve. So hold your head high, gorgeous, and just imagine how if things were oh so blissful with Mr. Almost Right, how definitely magnificent they’ll be when the real Mr. Right comes around and never lets you go. XO.

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Junior Political Science and Legal Studies Double Major at UMass Amherst.
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