What is the Franklin Vortex you ask? Have you ever found yourself sitting in Franklin Dining Commons for hours on end talking and eating and talking and eating some more? You have experienced it then.
1. Denial and Isolation
The first reaction is to deny the reality of the situation. You rationalize the overwhelming emotions: hunger, initial happiness and satisfaction, immense conversation, that too-full-to-move sensation, and laziness. It is a defense mechanism that buffers the immediate shock of realizing how full you are or how much time you have wasted sitting there for hours on end.
2. Anger
There are two extremes of the vortex: happiness or sadness. The effects of denial and Franklin isolation begin to wear off and the reality of this situation strikes us. Alas, the struggle is real. You think about all of the time you “wasted,” even though it was enjoyable talking with friends and eating some of the nationally ranked UMass Dining food. You really should have been doing homework or studying, or even going to the gym, instead of doing the opposite: sitting and eating. Does chewing and talking count as exercise? You begin to get mad at yourself for not being able to use your better judgment and escape. This anger may be aimed at anything: inanimate objects, complete strangers, friends or family, so, smashing food or dropping a plate for a round of applause is technically acceptable, even though the never-ending options of Frank and good company aren’t to blame.
3. Bargaining
The normal reaction to feelings of weakness and of losing yourself to a DC and defenselessness is often a need to regain control. Don’t worry, it’s not your fault you were sucked into the vortex. Even though it’s been at least three hours since you swiped in, there’s time to redeem yourself. There’s no looking back, only a way to change for the future, so don’t think of what could have been, think about what you can do to fix it.
4. Depression
Two types of depression are associated with mourning: sadness and regret and quiet preparation to bid farewell. During the first, we worry about the fact that we spent so much time in Frank and didn’t get done what was needed to be. This is the reaction to your loss of time, regretting wasted time. You worry about how late you will stay up finishing your work, dealing with the food coma, or even naming your food baby. All you need is reassurance from those in the same boat that you will all get through it together. Bidding farewell might, thankfully, just be for a short period of time. Maybe only a day, at most, before you can swipe in once again, only to remember the struggle you faced yesterday and make sure it doesn’t happen again.
5. Acceptance
Not everyone is able to reach this step, but have confidence you can do it. Being sucked into the vortex may have been sudden or unexpected. Think about this: surviving the vortex might have been the best, most delicious, and most fun form of procrastination. Just accept the fact that it happened, and may happen again, but you are more in control than you think before time just passes by and by as you sit at the tables of Franklin. Resisting the urge to forgive yourself might only prolong the natural process of healing.
Take this time to plan out when you will allow yourself to be stuck in the vortex again. Maybe use it as a reward during finals week, or a form of procrastination when you still have a lot of time to study, or feel prepared. Stay positive as the semester begins to wind down, but remember: the vortex is always here for you.