School is back in session and for 1/4 of the UMass Amherst population this is the first time you are leaving home, being away from your friends and family and quite possibly a special someone…
He’s your high school sweetheart and you’ve already convinced yourself that you’re going to marry him… but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Don’t get me wrong, having a boyfriend is great. It means that you always have someone there to make you feel beautiful (even when you’re wearing sweatpants and no make-up), you don’t have a reason to put yourself through 28 days of depression for the entire month of February, and you have someone who you can tell your biggest secrets. However, you might want to think about these 4 things before you decide to continue your relationship.
1. Are Your Post-Graduation Plans Similar?
Is your guy, like you, also starting college? If he’s working full time, going into the military, or taking a year off instead, you two will be in completely different places in life. This might make it difficult for you to relate to one another. If he’s not going to college, he may feel uneasy thinking about you in the stereotypical college setting. The idea of you partying and being around so many other guys without him could definitely make him feel uncomfortable. Make sure to address this!
2. College Is The Perfect Time To Meet New Guys
College is a time for you to branch out and meet people who otherwise you never would have had the opportunity to meet. Take advantage of all the new people around you. Keep your mind and heart open and see what they are all about. Look around in your classes, club meetings, and workplace. Who knows? Some of the guys there might be a lot more similar to you than your own guy.
3. Making Friends Might Be Hard To Do When You’re Trying To Keep In Touch With Your Boyfriend
Will staying with your HS boyfriend prevent you from making a new group of friends? Whether you are going to the same college as your boyfriend or not, spending so much time with him (even just talking to him on the phone or Skype too much) could hold you back from having a social life and could cause you to miss out on a lot of the amazing things that college has to offer. Sometimes it is a struggle trying to find the balance between talking to your guy, going out with the girls, having fun at parties, going to class, doing homework, and going to club meetings. Think about if you’ll be able to manage it all.
4. You Need Time To “Do You”
College is about maturing and “finding yourself.” It’s about figuring out what you like and what you don’t like – in academics, friendships, jobs, etc. Most importantly though, college gives you time to figure out what kinds of things that you, personally, need in a relationship in order to make it last. Use that time! As you get older, you will often find that the criteria you use in finding your ideal match will change. What are the top traits you look for in a partner? Think about your past/current relationships and see how they compare to what you hope your future relationships look like. Do they match? Do they differ? If they match, maybe your current boyfriend really is the one for you. Weigh the pros and cons and decide whether or not you think you can make your love last through the school year. If they differ though, make sure to take the time to open yourself up to new guys at school and see where things can go from there. It could be the first step you need to take in order to find your Mr. Right.