Alright ladies. It’s time for one of the most thought-provoking topics girls our age have to deal with…dating.
The question that a lot of Collegiettes find themselves struggling with is figuring out if and when it’s okay to cross that line: crossing the line from best friends to boyfriend and girlfriend. As far as I’m concerned, I’m still unsure about whether it’s the right choice and whether we do it for the right reasons. Lucky for us, we have the characters of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. to show us all the possible outcomes!
Think about it. You spend so much time with said guy, rant to him about every little detail of your life, cry to him when something goes wrong… isn’t it only natural that you start to feel something? And then you start to think that if he’s there for you so much then he’s gotta feel it too, right? There’s only so much he’d be willing to listen to if he didn’t want something. So the question remains, is it okay to date your best friend?
1. PRO: You start from date number 6 and skip over all the awkward “geting to know each other” questions.
We’ve all had that awkward first date where conversation stalls and you run out of questions to ask. “Where’d you go to high school?” “What sports do you like?” and things like that. Dating your best friend means you’re already very familiar with each other, therefore, can have more interesting conversations.
2. CON: You might know more about each other than you want to know.
Since you’ve been friends for some time and you’re obviously close enough to have developed such feelings for him, it’s safe to assume you’ve had many deep and important conversations. Whether you’ve talked about past experiences or each other’s love lives, nothing kills romantic feelings like knowing about each others’ failed attempts or even too much personal information…
Have you ever dated someone that didn’t get along with your friends? I know I have. That feeling, having to play the matchmaker between your boyfriend and your friends, is pretty awful, especially if the only thing the two parties have in common is you. Dating your best friend is much easier since your friends quite possibly already like him. This means that you won’t encounter any awkward introductions or conversations, until of course, you introduce him as your boyfriend!
4. CON: Breaking up with your best friend could ruin your relationship with other friends.
Breaking up with someone means having to give up things you’ve grown to love. When you date a stranger, you become friends with their friends, but only because you have to. When you date your best friend, your friends are their friends, and eventually, people choose sides. Whether it was your fault or theirs, many break-ups aren’t amicable and friendships are often lost. Besides the fact that you’re dating your best friend, you have to factor in the presence of other friends and how that might strike up your jealousy issues. No one likes to share…
5. PRO: Dating your best friend can potentially lead to a long term relationship.
Though all girls claim to love “the chase” of the dating game, eventually we get tired of waiting or of striking out. I know I get tired. Sure, like everyone else, I get excited when I have a crush or when I find out someone has a crush on me, but when nothing happens, I eventually start to look for something else. Dating your best friend provides something trustworthy and reliable . And while that might sound boring and lacking passion, think about how comfortable you already are with each other and what new things you might be willing to do. Talk about passion: look at Chandler and Monica from Friends… they turned out just fine. But unlike them, you don’t have to change time-zones to hook up with your best friend. Someone just has to make the first move. If like Chandler and Monica, your spontaneous moment has to be fueled by alcohol, so be it. Just stay safe, ladies!
6. CON: Breaking up means possibly losing your friendship forever.
Many people believe that once you cross that line, you can’t go back. Dating a friend means changing the rules of your relationship. Your jealousy sparks up, insecurities rise, and you’re just another girl. Don’t get me wrong, some relationships last forever, but most college relationships aren’t built that way. Eventually, your relationship might end, and while you’ll be positive and want to stay friends, you’ll see that it’s a lot harder said than done. You’ll never be able to handle seeing those Facebook pictures of him and his new girlfriend, and eventually you’ll make yourself miserable. And no guy is worth being miserable over! Going back to being friends is definitely harder than it looks.
Remember Collegiettes, everyone’s experience is different, so by all means if you think your best friend is your Prince Charming don’t miss that opportunity! And if he turns out to be another toad, I promise you, Prince Charming is definitely on his way!