I’ve heard that if you can think it up, there’s probably a skimpy, sexy Halloween costume of it. That doesn’t mean that all of those costumes would be good, and here’s a few that should probably go back to the drawing board…
1. Sexy Traffic Cone
My friend and I were joking about this being a sexy halloween costume my Freshman year, and then she went to a party where a guy did just that.
2. Sexy Guitar
I get that someone can flaunt their curves by emulating the curves of a guitar’s body in their costume, but her face just smushed in the neck with the guitar’s head on top of hers just makes the whole thing look kind of awkward. At least if you wanted to accessorize, you could fashion a purse into a guitar pedal or amp, but it’s still probably not your best bet.
3. Sexy Takeout
This is just in poor taste, I’m not sure whether it would be a cultural appropriation thing or just odd-looking. The fortune cookie hat also doesn’t do the ensemble any favors.
4. Sexy Darth Vader
Nothing says sexy like an imperial overlord amputee wheezing in a giant helmet. Giggity.
5. Sexy House
The various iterations of “Brick House” one may hear over the night are probably not worth wearing the costume and the cat on the crotch is totally classy and not a lame double entendre.
6. Sexy Osama Bin Laden
I don’t know where to begin with this one. Is it the inclusion of a more “Arab” nose and beard, the portrayal of a hated figure in the United States as a sexy costume, just the fact that it’s a normal dress instead of a toga-y thing to accentuate the flowing robes, or all of the above? What’s next, Sexy Unabomber?
7. Sexy George Washington
Considering I’m not sure whether they’re modeling it after Washington as a strapping young military man, or an old president with missing teeth, they actually did a fairly good job of it. However, founding fathers don’t usually scream “sexy” to most people, and they should have at least included the powdered wig.
8. Sexy Abraham Lincoln aka “Baberaham Lincoln”
I can’t tell whether this is amazing or horrible. I’ll leave it up to you to decide.
9. Cookie Monster Hunter
To be honest, I’m not entirely sure on the concept. Is there a Sesame Street fan-fiction where it gets overrun by monster-hunting warriors, or did she just really want to have Cookie Monster’s head on a stick? Anyway, now that he’s Veggie Monster or whatever, this all may be irrelevant.
10. Sexy Daleks
For all the Whovian Collegiettes, this may be a fantastic costume, but generally people might not get it so you may look like you’re wearing a dress of candy buttons while wielding a plunger. Exterminate the impulse to do this depending on the crowd at the party.
Stay classy, ladies.