Have a question for our RLCG Ben? Ask here!
Reader: “I am in love with my best friend, but he is in love with someone else. I don’t know if I can continue to be his friend, but I can’t imagine my life without him. What do I do?”
RLCG Ben: The first thing you should do is continue to be his friend. If you can’t imagine your life without him, he probably feels the same way, and leaving him would be hard on the both of you. There’s no reason to jeopardize a well-cultivated friendship because he’s into someone else, because you could still be there for him.
Even though it’s hard, it’s your duty as a friend to be there for him. However, being in love with your best friend does make this a little more complicated on your behalf, in which case remember that you can still love somebody while they love someone else. Not in a way in which the other person is cheating, mind you, but where you’re experiencing platonic love for the other person in which you care deeply for them and want to be very close with them, but if you feel a romantic attraction, it seems to be unrequited.
While unrequited love hurts no matter the situation, maybe you’ll fall for someone else. You’ll still have him around and you two can have your own romantic partners. He will be happy for you if you do, so you could be happy for him as well. Maybe it will turn in your favor eventually, who knows? If you can be there for your friend, it will outlast almost any relationship at this time in your life, and having that constancy in a tumultuous college environment is a wonderful thing to have.