Dear Pre-Pandemic Me,
It’s fair to say this year has been difficult for everyone and that no one expected 2020 to go the way that it did.
We have lost opportunities.
We have lost jobs.
We have even lost loved ones.
I spent the remainder of my senior year of high school online, missing prom and graduation, and I started at a new school not knowing anyone and unable to make friends, in the traditional way at least. And while we can’t undo the past (no matter how much we wish to), we can take what we have been given and find a way to work with it, even if it’s hard.
One year into isolation, I’ve forced myself to look back and see how I’ve grown during the course of the pandemic in order to focus on the ways this past year has gone well, no matter how small. This self-reflection has encouraged me to find positivity in the world, and I advise others to do the same.
As an out-of-state freshman, I didn’t know many people at UMass when starting this past fall. I’ve had to compensate for the lack of natural class interaction by directing my effort into reaching out to classmates via social media and engaging with different student groups, something I never would have done before the coronavirus struck. Even by reaching out to one person on Facebook, I helped set the foundation for a new club, consisting of meetings that I look forward to every single week.
I also started at an internship, something I had no intention of doing this year. As someone with social anxiety, the basic description of what this internship entails scared the living daylights out of me (and still does), but I have challenged myself in so many ways that I previously would have avoided. I have delivered speeches, coordinated events, and have even met with complete strangers in one-on-one meetings following an agenda that I’d created. I have also made friends through this internship, one of which being the person who convinced me to apply as a writer for Her Campus with her (thanks Elizabeth). It has been completely terrifying, but I am completely shocked (yet proud) that I have managed to do all of that in the first place.
And since I’ve been isolated in my room for so long, I’ve had so much time to think (potentially way too much time) about life and who I am as a person, meaning I’ve learned a lot about myself. For one, I’ve started dressing the way I want to dress, rather than following the trends. To give you an idea, I would say my fashion sense is inspired by the ’70s mixed with the way I picture stereotypical British scholars. It’s weird, but I love it. I’ve also learned to be unafraid of sharing my passions, which I definitely avoided earlier in life. In middle school, I was embarrassed to say that I danced four days a week since it wasn’t considered a traditional sport, but now it’s something that I talk about proudly. In high school, I avoided reading for fun, but now I’ve slowly started to pick it back up again and I’ve read twelve books so far in 2021! There’s so much more I am still learning about myself, and I’m glad that this pandemic has given me a chance to do so.
I recognize the horrible things that people have faced in the midst of this pandemic and I am taking the opportunity to learn and educate myself. I’m not perfect (and never will be), not even with an entire year stuck at home, but I’ve discovered so much about myself and I could never imagine returning to the way I was before the pandemic.
So no, Pre-Pandemic Me. I don’t miss you.
Sincerely,
Lucie Daignault