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I Spend My Time Imagining Elaborate Fake Weddings: Here’s One of Them

Weddings: everything about them is so magical and astonishing. After months of planning, contacting vendors, choosing a theme, solidifying a guest list, and embarking on the events leading up to the big day, there’s so much that goes into it for just one day. This day, however, can be one of the most aesthetically pleasing and elaborate occasions in one’s life, making the extensive preparation worth it. I love the idea of cohesiveness when it comes to a wedding. When all of the decorations, floral arrangements, and the venue go together seamlessly, it creates a beautiful, special day that even guests can remember forever. If my future career does not work out, I will run a wedding planning business. No exaggeration. Here is one of the weddings I will plan.

First off, this is going to be a Christmas wedding. Yep, you heard that correctly. A wedding in the midst of freezing, snowy weather. The ceremony will be held outside on a mountaintop, with the view of the glistening slopes behind the bride and groom as they vow to each other. The groom will be wearing a forest-green suit, and the bride will be wearing a long-sleeve lace ballgown. No sparkle, no shimmer; just classic, sophisticated, Frank Sinatra style. Now, I know what you’re thinking: as a guest, I am going to freeze my butt off. Do not fear, there will be thick, long, cream-colored blankets prepared on each vintage chair so guests can say somewhat warm. Along with pine greens and fresh coats of snow all around, white flower boutiques and greenery will line the entire aisle. You will smell the sweet, Christmas aroma of pine, cinnamon, and possibly firewood burning from the cocktail hour bonfire being prepared. In the simplest terms, I envision the snowflake dance scene from The Nutcracker ballet — just a whimsical, straight-out-of-a-fairytale moment. The cherry on top would be active snowfall during the ceremony, but of course, that is not guaranteed.

As for the reception, picture a huge tent made from an insulated, sheer fabric with stringed lights and vines hanging from the ceiling. The tent will be supported by a 25-foot-tall Christmas tree in the middle, decked out in shiny ornaments of all shapes, sizes, and colors. My favorite part of this idea is the fact that as guests gift the newlyweds, their gifts can be placed under the tree for the night, like Christmas morning. The seating chart will comprise of the ornaments from this tree, and they will all be labeled in a nonchalant, yet obvious way. To light up the night in a cozy, homey way, there will be candles of greens, blues, and reds everywhere: on the floor, on the tables, on every makeshift shelf made from log pieces and crevices. There will be colorfully detailed nutcrackers surrounding the tree, and handmade gingerbread houses as table centers, with plates and silverware of rustic gold and silver.

As you may have noticed, the reception and the ceremony are two completely different vibes. I am all about getting the best of both worlds as we transition into the next part of The Nutcracker, away from the snowflake dance scene and to the land of sweets. Yup, at the end of dinner — an assortment of cranberry sauce, ham, stuffing, and a green bean casserole — the reception will offer all kinds of sweets (think: gumdrops, cherry marzipan, bonbons, and tempered chocolate). There will also be classic Christmas cookies served with coffee and hot chocolate. Of course, the classic Christmas soundtrack will be playing throughout the night on record players — Tony Bennet, Frank Sinatra, Elvis Presley — and I’d even consider booking a live band. The moral of the story: do not sleep on Christmas weddings inspired by The Nutcracker ballet, especially if you live somewhere that receives snow in the winter.

People tend to resort to the summer months for their wedding, which is completely understandable. I mean, there is so much potential with vibrant green trees and grass, colorful flowers, and sundresses. However, I hope this wedding enlightened you to branch out for your future day. Remember to contact me to service your wedding planning (just kidding, but maybe one day)!

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Rachael Dionisio

U Mass Amherst '24

Rachael is a freshman Communication/Marketing major at UMass Amherst. She aspires to work in the media after graduation and loves working out, chai lattes and shopping.
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