It’s first semester of the new school year and you’re already drowning in papers, exams, meetings, and work. Unexpectedly, you get a text from your mom while walking to class: “Hi honey, bringing anyone special home for Thanksgiving?”
Ugh. The last thing you need to be reminded of as a stressed, hardworking, single collegiette is that there’s societal pressure to settle down. Relationships can be a huge comfort and support system at this time in your life but the struggle to find the right person…not so easy.
Now that the fall weather has hit us out of nowhere, it seems that even the squirrels are matching up. From a sociological standpoint, this makes complete sense. Fall dates around UMass are obviously the cutest: apple picking, haunted houses, The Big E, romantic walks to Berk under the foliage. But before you find yourself sobbing and binge eating apple cider donuts in your underwear while watching a Nicholas Sparks movie, read this guide to help you get through the season and embrace your status as a single woman.
1. Think of where you want to be in your life right now.
Is a romantic relationship a priority in your life right now? Most women at this age decide to stay single because they want to devote all their time and energy to their career, friends, and family (not to say that you can’t balance all that with a boyfriend.) The time to find yourself, what you love, what inspires you, and what you want in life is conveniently right now. Remind yourself that dedicating all of your life to catching a man is a waste of the potential you have as an intelligent, strong, and powerful collegiette! Don’t stress, your time will come!
2. Learn from your past experiences with relationships.
Not in a regretful or painful way—focus on learning from past relationships. Ask yourself if you still want the same things as the person you were at that time. Seeing a couple holding hands splashing through the tunnel to Southwest might make you miss your ex. However, remind yourself that it all ended for a reason. As hopeful as it might seem from online articles of cute old couples that remain married after 60 years, that doesn’t mean that’s a reality for everyone (or even the majority).
It takes lots of time to find someone perfect for you. Carrie Bradshaw, from “Sex and the City,” is your muse right now. Take this time to remind yourself of what you want in a relationship so that when the time comes, you’ll be ready for a happy, healthy and long-lasting love affair.
3. Consider your options.
Sure, that guy in your Biochem class does help you a lot with the homework, but that doesn’t mean you have to date him. As soon as you find yourself saying, “Well at least he…” you’ve already lost. 5-year-old you knew she would never settle for less than a prince battling for her (minus the rescue thing, you got that yourself). A college guy who occasionally invites you to pregame with his friends and texts you every Friday at 3 a.m. “you up?” might not fit that description.
You deserve the love and commitment you would give someone else for yourself. If no guy can fulfill that right now then give it to yourself—that’s right, treat yo’ self! After all, the most powerful love you can have is self-love.
4. Enjoy your single life!
College is a perfect microcosm for single girls to explore. Go out with your friends to a tailgate and hit on some fraternity guys (you might get free food from it). Wear absolutely whatever you want! Be as sexy or as conservative as you want without worrying about anyone else’s opinion on the matter.
You have thousands of suitors to choose from. It’s like going to the stir-fry station for the first time and trying a whole bunch of different ingredients. If casual hookups aren’t your thing, this is prime time for girl bonding. Getting dressed up and going out to dance with your friends has got to be one of the best parts of being a girl.
Know that your worth is not dependent on your relationship status. Being single doesn’t mean you’re missing out or struggling to find someone, you’re simply enjoying falling in love with yourself right now. Images/GIFs: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5