This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at U Mass Amherst chapter.
In the ideal world, we would never have to go through the trials and tribulations of a break up. We would never have to worry about things going downhill, because we would meet the perfect man and be set for life. But, meeting “the one” doesn’t happen on the first try for many people. Or the second try. Or the third. As college women, many of us have reached a point in our lives where we want to date people that we can see ourselves with in the future. Why get involved with someone when there is no potential, right? Well, it may seem nice and sweet in the beginning, but sometimes things can go sour after a while, for better or for worse. Here are some signs that it may be time reevaluate your relationship.
Spending less time together
During the “honeymoon” stage of a relationship, we tend to try and spend every waking minute together. No class? Hang out. No work? Hang out. No homework? Hang out. Homework? Hang out anyways. We are excited, childlike, and eager to learn as much as we can about our person. However, as time goes on, the flame may start to burn out if less effort is made by the day. If you find yourself at home with your cat more than with your man, you may have a problem.
Unnecessary Fighting
No relationship goes without an argument here and there. It just doesn’t happen. If there are no fights, then how is a couple supposed to learn how to overcome the bad in order to appreciate the good? How are they supposed to learn from the past in order to avoid things recurring in the future? It comes with the territory. However, when you are constantly disagreeing and fighting over insignificant nonsense, you should worry. I have learned from experience the pain-in-the-a** that is unnecessary fighting. If the little things are bothering you more than they used to, if you are snapping at each other for no reason, if you seem to be on bad terms more often than good terms, and if you both seem to be searching for reasons to pick a fight, you may be on the brink of splitting up.
Where is the intimacy?
Have you gone from having sex almost every single time you are together, to feeling lucky if you get intimate once in a blue moon? Physical intimacy plays a huge role in relationships. This isn’t to say that in order to stay together, you need to hit the sheets at least 5 times a week. But, if you are starting to lose that desire and feeling of sexual attraction when you’re with your boyfriend or when the opportunity arises, you may need to kick it up a notch. Whether you simply send him a flirty text message to let him know you’re thinking of him, you hold each other’s hand in public, or take it to the bedroom, intimacy makes the relationship stronger.
Emotional Distancing
This ties in with spending less time together, but has more to do with communication, or lack-thereof in this case. Does he seem more closed off and not open to talking about your relationship, the positive or the negative? Have you gone from having deep conversations all the time to having trivial, uninteresting ones that barely make it past “Hey, what’s up?” Does he seem to avoid the topic of your future together? If your boyfriend starts to act this way, it may be a sign that his emotional investment in your relationship is weakening. Or perhaps it is the opposite and you feel this way. Either way, distancing yourself emotionally from your partner is definitely a red flag to keep an eye out for.
Break-ups are never easy, especially when you don’t see them coming. If you sense that your relationship isn’t going well, pay attention for these warning signs because it may be time to break it off with your man. Better to rip the band-aid off anyways, so you can start having fun with your friends!
Spending less time together
During the “honeymoon” stage of a relationship, we tend to try and spend every waking minute together. No class? Hang out. No work? Hang out. No homework? Hang out. Homework? Hang out anyways. We are excited, childlike, and eager to learn as much as we can about our person. However, as time goes on, the flame may start to burn out if less effort is made by the day. If you find yourself at home with your cat more than with your man, you may have a problem.
Unnecessary Fighting
No relationship goes without an argument here and there. It just doesn’t happen. If there are no fights, then how is a couple supposed to learn how to overcome the bad in order to appreciate the good? How are they supposed to learn from the past in order to avoid things recurring in the future? It comes with the territory. However, when you are constantly disagreeing and fighting over insignificant nonsense, you should worry. I have learned from experience the pain-in-the-a** that is unnecessary fighting. If the little things are bothering you more than they used to, if you are snapping at each other for no reason, if you seem to be on bad terms more often than good terms, and if you both seem to be searching for reasons to pick a fight, you may be on the brink of splitting up.
Where is the intimacy?
Have you gone from having sex almost every single time you are together, to feeling lucky if you get intimate once in a blue moon? Physical intimacy plays a huge role in relationships. This isn’t to say that in order to stay together, you need to hit the sheets at least 5 times a week. But, if you are starting to lose that desire and feeling of sexual attraction when you’re with your boyfriend or when the opportunity arises, you may need to kick it up a notch. Whether you simply send him a flirty text message to let him know you’re thinking of him, you hold each other’s hand in public, or take it to the bedroom, intimacy makes the relationship stronger.
Emotional Distancing
This ties in with spending less time together, but has more to do with communication, or lack-thereof in this case. Does he seem more closed off and not open to talking about your relationship, the positive or the negative? Have you gone from having deep conversations all the time to having trivial, uninteresting ones that barely make it past “Hey, what’s up?” Does he seem to avoid the topic of your future together? If your boyfriend starts to act this way, it may be a sign that his emotional investment in your relationship is weakening. Or perhaps it is the opposite and you feel this way. Either way, distancing yourself emotionally from your partner is definitely a red flag to keep an eye out for.
Break-ups are never easy, especially when you don’t see them coming. If you sense that your relationship isn’t going well, pay attention for these warning signs because it may be time to break it off with your man. Better to rip the band-aid off anyways, so you can start having fun with your friends!