Meet this week’s Campus Cutie…Matt “Crisco” Criscuolo. He can be seen playing his cajon at Live N’ Loud Thursdays at Lit, frying up some chicken (even though he’s a vegetarian) at Wings Over Amherst, and performing stand-up comedy at the U Pub on Wednesdays!
Name: Matt “Crisco” Criscuolo
Age: 21
Year: 2014
Hometown: Durham, CT
Major: BDIC (Audio Engineering & Digital Sound)
Relationship Status: Single
Occupation: Cook @ Wings Ovah Amherst
Involved in at UMass: Sketch 22 (SVP), UMass Comedy Club
Hobbies: Drums, Cooking, Cleaning, Texting, Performing Charms and Spells, Dancing like the only person in the room, Talking to my Grandmother, Reading, Comedy, Collecting Yu-Gi-Oh cards, Fashion, Traveling, Facebook scrapbooking, Hiking, and frolicking through large green pastures!
Best UMass memory: Every day at this school is my best memory, but if I have to pick, then it’s probably that time I figure skated with Sam the Minuteman in front of over 500 people at the Mullins Center. We took home the gold that year!
Would you rather go to Hogwarts and still be a muggle OR live in a world with Pokemon, but only be able to catch Magikarps?
Definitely Hogwarts. I’m already a muggle so I’m not losing anything there. I think it’d be cooler to be made fun of for being a mud-blood and still have magical powers over only being able to catch a fish. Imagine all the drinking games I could bring to Hogwarts that wizards haven’t even heard of. I bet they can’t hold their butterbeer as well as us muggles here can!
You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good—even cooler they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What’s it going to be?
This is a perfect question! I eat radioactive vegetables everyday and I always wonder what super power they’ll give me but nothing ever happens. Honestly I wish I had super speed because I’m late for everything, literally everything. How sick would it be if you could wake up at 9:29 and be able to shower, change, and get to class right at 9:30!
The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. What are you going to do?
Okay I have two answers because I can’t decide. I really want to play music in front of a lot of people. So I would want to play a half hour set somewhere in front of a huge crowd! But it might be hard for the Angel of Death to get all those people to show up on such short notice. Therefore I think my second idea is more realistic. I would ask it to provide the largest smorgasbord of food! I’ve never travelled out of the country so I’d really like to try simple cuisines from other cultures. I’d eat it all if I only had one half hour left to live!
You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you going to go?
Aruba, Jamaica ooo I wanna take ya to Bermuda, Bahama come on pretty mama, Key Largo, Montego baby why don’t we go down to Kokomo. We’ll get there fast but then we’ll take it slow, THAT’S WHERE I WANNA GO way down to Kokomo!