We’re going to get a little bit personal here. How many of you have felt uncomfortable about your weight? Maybe you feel like you need to lose a few pounds, before you can be happy. I know I’ve felt that way. The mix of negative emotions that come in from lack of body confidence almost seem endless, and it is really tough to not think of all the things that you wish you could change about yourself. After feeling a little bit uncomfortable about my weight recently, I decided to write a little PSA to all of those fabulous, beautiful, overweight Collegiettes out there.
For my entire life, my weight has been a huge force that dictated how I felt and acted around my peers. I was afraid to eat my lunch around new people at school, because I thought that they would pass judgment on me. There was nothing that I despised more than having to wear a t-shirt, or shorts. What if my stretch marks showed? People don’t want to see all of that skin, especially when I’m this big, right? Now of course, there is always someone who would snicker, or poke fun because of my size. But for the most part, I was my own worst enemy.
The torture that I put myself through just escalated more and more once I hit middle and high school. I’d wear sweatshirts and jeans in the heat of summer, and I hid my face behind my hair so that I could shrink away. My self esteem plummeted, and I just felt down right terrible all the time. The feeling got even worse when friends of mine got a boyfriend, or were asked to go to the next school dance with someone. I was never given that invitation. Even in my health class, I felt embarrassed. I just felt like romance and relationships could never be in my court, purely because of the differences in my body.
I figured if I tried dieting, and lost a ton of weight, I would be popular. I would be loved by everyone. Heck, maybe I would get a date too. I tried, and I failed (more times than I’m willing to admit). Honestly, I figured there was nothing that I could do to make myself change.
Fast forward to the “today me.” Junior in college, same weight, and happy. I honestly don’t remember what changed to make me change how I thought about myself, but I’ve never felt better. Now, my weight isn’t that burden that stays with me all the time. It’s a part of me that sets me apart from everyone else. My shape is different than a lot of other people’s, and now I realize how truly awesome that is.
Remember (coming from someone who struggled for almost 20 years to love themselves) that even though its hard, and you just wish you could change what your body looks like, that you are beautiful. Now, that doesn’t mean that you can’t lose weight if you don’t want. But when you’re feeling down, and beating yourself up because you ate that piece of cheesecake instead of a salad, think of everything good that you’ve done. Think about how funny you are, or how great you are at school. Maybe you have a really unique talent that no one else you know can do. Think of all the reasons you’re great. Write ‘em down. Even if you can’t learn to love your body right away, you can at least love everything else that makes you different, and the rest will follow.
If you’re still struggling, here are a couple of absolutely wonderful overweight beauty gurus on YouTube that are strong, body positive women. Some talk about relationships and sex education from the viewpoint of an overweight girl, while others focus on fashion and beauty.
Also, if you’re looking for an actual blog to read, The Curvy Fashionista has a huge list of bloggers here!
Either way, no matter what you may think, you are never alone. Even if it feels like the end of the world that you can’t fit into those jeans, or that you just can’t lose those five pounds to look good in your bathing suit, you are worthy. You are wonderful.
Stay beautiful, Collegiettes.