This is an article for all my introverts out there who struggle to find acceptance for themselves in an intensely social environment like college.
College is a wonderful and weird time. All of sudden, we are thrust head-first into a new life and expected to just go with it. I remember waking up one day a couple of weeks into my freshman fall semester feeling like I was in a stranger’s body. This feeling eventually passed, but it has taken until my senior year to acknowledge and accept that this feeling was a true indicator of my introvertedness and the fact that I was trying to suppress it. I would always leave my dorm room open, take every opportunity to hang with people, and generally try to fit my idea of a thriving college student. It was exhausting. I had to come to terms with the fact that my personal happiness comes first and finding friends who love and accept you takes time. As a seasoned pro, here are my biggest pieces of advice for coping as an introvert in college.
Treat quality Alone Time like medicine
This. Is. Key. Shifting your opinion of “me time” is essential to your well-being as an introvert. I used to neglect my personal company and would wind up feeling tired and pretty empty. It became a vicious cycle where I wasn’t treating myself to alone time and would then feel robotic trying to force myself to be social. I now treat my personal time as an essential part of my health. I recommend being conscious of the things that really make you feel recharged and doing that in your spare time. Me, I like to recharge by taking care of my body and space. I refill my water, make yummy food, clean my room and listen to music. This is essential.
validate your own feelings
The point of my writing this article is that the college atmosphere is not a validating place for people who find socializing stressful and exhausting at times. So, I have had to learn for myself how to be accepting of my anti-social leanings. I still find this especially hard. I currently live in a house of eight other of the best and coolest friends I could ever wish for. At times, I feel guilty about not wanting to go out at night with them or skipping small hangs to chill in my room. But this is okay. No one is going to hate you for wanting to spend time alone. Even the most social of butterflies feel this way. I have learned that actively listening to the thoughts that pop into your head about yourself and training your brain to be kinder goes a long way in self-love and acceptance.
Find an introverted buddy
A fellow introverted buddy who shares your lived experiences is the best form of external validation when you are struggling a bit to feel love and acceptance for yourself. At the beginning of the semester, one of my housemates and I had a candid conversation about our decision to not go out to the bars when the rest of our friends did. I admired how she said that she did not get FOMO and found being home alone on a Friday could be wonderful. Hearing that has helped me to adjust my perspective from fearing missing out on fun college experiences into being content that I am respecting my need to recharge.
The biggest thing that has helped me accept my introverted nature is by listening to how I feel and knowing when to give myself the space to recharge. Hopefully, this was helpful for others out there struggling to find the balance between being social and being happy! :)
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