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9 Dos and Don’ts of a First Date

Okay, it is OFFICIALLY February. That means Valentines Day is just around the corner. It’s no secret that V-day can be totally and completely annoying. Everywhere you turn it’s an Insta of “flowers from my Boo!” or a FB status update “thanks for the chocolates and Teddy Bear babe! [Insert paragraph about how awesome the relationship is]” or a horse drawn carriage waiting by the campus pond with a boy holding roses in it (I am not kidding, I have seen it). Seriously? Ugh.

With all this B.S in the air it can sometimes spark some courage in people. They may get the courage to finally ask out their crush. And that crush could be YOU. All this love in the air could mean that you could find yourself on a first date very soon. Think you’re ready? Think again.

The last thing you want to do is find yourself in an awkward position you can’t get out of, or WORSE: you may actually like the person you’re going out with and want to make a good impression. Here are a few key DOs and DON’TS of first dates.

DO: Say Yes. The first step to a first date is giving that person a chance. Whether you’re doing the asking, or they are asking you, SOMEONE needs to accept the proposal to make this happen.

DON’T: Say yes and then totally flake out. If you know you are totally not into the person whatsoever, let them down easy, don’t give them false hope. Be nice and respectful, it takes a lot of courage to ask someone on a date! Also, stay away from social media, if you can. It’s a lot easier to ask somebody out via a text or Facebook message, but it’s so much better and more meaningful in person.

DO: Talk about yourself! Tell the person your interest, hobbies, passions, etc. and ask them the same questions in return. A good informative conversation will keep the flow going and let you get to know one another. Make sure not to say too much though. You want to make a good impression and be confident, because you are awesome, and they should totally see that.

DON’T: Talk too much. Nothing is worse than someone who blabs all about themselves and doesn’t have the desire to listen. Plus, you will look a bit self absorbed, even if you aren’t. Good conversation is listening as much as you speak. Even if you are a victim of verbal diarrhea, take a deep breath, and dial it back.

DO: Make a good impression. Look nice, wear something put together, take a shower, brush your teeth and give at least some thought to your outfit. Give yourself a little once-over and pep-talk before you head out, ’cause you’re lookin’ goooood.

DON’T: Overdress or over-impress. Piling on the make-up, cologne or hair gel will just cover up who you really are. Same thing with facades. Don’t go to a fancy restaraunt you can’t normally afford or do things you would not normally do. If you like a burgers, order a burger, not a salad so you look “dainty”. That is B.S. BE YOU! Part of the magic of the first date is discovering things you naturally have in common. Disagreeing on things can also lead to a fun banter that shows that you are your own person with your own set of beliefs and values.

DO: Go in for the kiss! If you really like the person and the date went well, (which thanks to this article and your awesomeness, it should) DEFINITELY go for the kiss. It may be a little awkward, but it’ll be worth it.

DON’T: Go in for the kiss if you do not like your date that way. If you are not feeling the vibes, it’s okay to bob when he/she weaves. Another great move is the cheek kiss. Executed by turning slightly to the side to avoid direct lip contact in the event of a kiss goodnight.

In other words, be honest with your date right then and there, and get rid of the awkward “when can I see you again?” question. On the other hand, if you do like your date, don’t give it all up at once. That’s right, I am talking the biggest no-no for first dates.

You want to be respected, and taken seriously. Intimacy and all those wonderful things will come in time. That’s the wonderful thing about the first date! It’s just the beginning. And if you are the one being rejected, IT’S GOING TO BE OKAY!

Just because someone didn’t like you, doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of fish in the sea! Keep putting yourself out there, someone will see you for how great you are, and you will be ready. Good luck Collegiettes!

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Becky Jackson

U Mass Amherst

Becky Jackson is an Environmental Science major minoring in education at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. Her favorite activities include being outdoors, hiking, hanging out on her farm at home, going to the beach,chilling by wood stoves in her jammies and working out. Her other passions include social justice and education, and she hopes to one day become a High School science teacher. She loves to laugh and sing occasionally whilst playing the guitar rather poorly. Writing is a big passion of hers and she is so excited to be controbuting to Her Campus UMass Chapter!
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