Every relationship has its ups and its downs; however, when it seems that the downs begin to far outweigh the ups, it may be time to rethink whether you actually want to continue with your significant other. It’s hard to decipher when or if it’s time to end a relationship, but the reasons below are thinking points regarding the decision.
1. You fight over every little thing.
It’s of course normal when couples fight, and it’s even healthy to argue from time to time to relieve stress and communicate with one another. However, it becomes a problem when this bickering happens every day and is sparked by the littlest of things. When you are practically sitting on a perch with binoculars desperately searching for a reason to get under your partners skin, it’s probably a sign it’s time to move on.
2. You find yourself making excuses as to why you can’t hang out.
In the beginning lovey-dovey stages of a relationship, you basically clear your entire schedule just in the hopes your partner will be available to hang out on any given day. Of course, as the relationship continues, this becomes unrealistic and this phase subsides a little bit. Being a part of a couple means that when you see your partner, it should be cherished time filled with happiness and contentedness. But constantly texting your significant other why you can’t make it to dinner or a movie as you are laying in your own bed watching Netflix is not a good sign. If you feel as if you have to force yourself to want to hang out with your partner, then the relationship probably isn’t going to go anywhere good.
3. There are no more little gestures of affection, and if there are, they go unnoticed.
No, not every relationship is like the movies in which grand gestures of huge bouquets and boxes of chocolates are gifted to you as your partner rides in on a white horse … but there are other small, real-world moments that are meaningful. A good morning kiss, a goodnight text, a hug when they can tell you’re feeling low, etc. All of these small things go a long way to show someone that you care about them, and even though they may seem little, added up, they are an important part of a relationship. When these things slip away, it is almost as if the part of your partner that cares about you is fading away too. On the other hand, when one person is putting in the effort and the other simply does not acknowledge it or even seem to notice, it goes to show how little it even means to them.
4. You start treating each other as just friends, and nothing more.
It’s really an amazing thing when your partner feels like your best friend too. You’re able to confide in them and laugh with them and just be yourself — it’s hugely important to feel comfortable around your significant other. But when it gets to the point where all you want to do is punch them in the arm and say “hey…pal ” then maybe it’s time to rethink where your feelings are.
5. You stop prioritizing them and/or their feelings.
When your partner comes to you with issues about your relationship or reasons why things you do or say are hurting them and you find yourself not really listening or countering them with excuses instead of understanding their pain, you probably aren’t in the relationship 100 percent. Communication is critical and your significant other reaching out shows something is wrong and needs to be addressed. In a relationship that you want to succeed, you would sit, listen and empathize. But if deep down you don’t really care whether the relationship lasts or not, then you may begin to disregard their thoughts.
6. Physical parts of the relationship feel like they’ve vanished.
It’s completely normal for the physical component of your relationship to simmer down after the initial stages of constant desire to be with each other. However, actively avoiding physical contact or finding yourself coming up with reasons why you don’t want to is a different story.
7. The idea of someone or something new is always on your mind.
Of course your partner is not going to be the one and only person you find yourself attracted to for the rest of your life and all other people fall out of existence. Of course you’re going to think other people are good-looking or charming, but it’s different when this idea encompasses your mind all the time. Constantly dreaming about what it would be like to have another partner or fantasizing about a life without your current relationship in it any free second you have is clearly not a good sign.
8. Picturing a future together is something you avoid.
Lastly, many of us begin to picture what the future could be like with our significant others. We may think about little milestones or big ones, like getting married or having children. It’s important to think about the future with your significant other, keeping in mind your own personal goals and how they fit into them. But if you find that you repress these thoughts or start to cringe when you let yourself try to think about this, then maybe this relationship isn’t one for the long haul.