I always found the idea of relationships and dating to be terrifying. My ideal evening has always been spent with friends or a night in watching a movie. Throughout high school I never bothered getting involved in the dating scene, and it wasn’t until the end of my college career that I felt comfortable enough to try it out. After a few dates, I came out realizing that all that time waiting had actually prepared me for my own dating experiences. Here’s why waiting to date was the right choice for me:
1. I was able to watch and learn.
While I spent my weekends either going out with friends or Netflix binging, a considerable amount of friends were playing the dating field, the field I neither wanted to be a part of nor didn’t want to be a part of. Regardless of my feelings on the subject, I still listened attentively when these friends told me all about their dates– the good, the bad, and the ugly. When I finally went on my iconic first date, I was quick to pick up on all the little things my friends had either loved or hated, giving me a good sense of the direction the date was headed. While the guy I met with was his own person and unlike my friends’ dates, the little pieces of advice I learned beforehand helped my experiences run smoother.
2. Maturity is attractive.
Age certainly helps in the dating scene, and whether someone has been on zero dates or twenty dates, dates seem to run smoother when you’re older. Even boys, who are known to remain a little immature a bit longer, grow up and behave like… well, grown-ups. When I became interested in trying out the dating scene, I found the guys were just as attracted to my maturity as I was to theirs. Whether they’d dated prior or not didn’t change the fact that they were just a little more serious in the dates.
3. The confidence factor played a role.
I don’t mean to suggest that someone like me, a girl who has remained single and with zero dates under her belt, had complete confidence going into her first date. The awkwardness and the nerves were completely present, and I’m positive that no matter how many dates anyone goes on, those nerves will continue. However, the independent self-confidence that we’ve all been individually building since school started coming into play.
I think I can speak for all of us when I say that middle and high school were emotional roller-coasters. My self-confidence was so low I could barely fathom the idea that a guy could even be remotely interested in me. By the time I was in college, I had outgrown most of that self-loathing and approached a more realistic, more comfortable relationship with myself. If I had dated when I was younger, without my current self-confidence, I really believe I would not have had as good of experiences that I have now.
4. The blessed adult schedule made all the difference.
Ironically, the busier the schedules we have in our adult lives actually improve the dating scene, at least in my own experience. You have to work harder to make plans with your date, and schedule around classes, work, and other social times. I found it easier to make these dates a part of my schedule. It was also beneficial that I did not see my dates on a daily basis, as I would have if we were back in high school. The fact that my busy schedule made it hard to go out only made the dates better and brought value to each one.
5. I date how and where I want.
I think the most obvious reason why dating later is awesome is because you enter the dating scene without the hovering parents, restrictions of dating locations because of your age, and the almost unlimited access we have to places around us. One of my very first dates included taking a bus into town and meeting the guy at a cafe, without breathing a word about it to anyone. The experience was not only great to have as a date, but I also realized how simple it is to go out as a student in college. While my schedule was tighter than it had been in the past, once I found free time, the freedom I felt from going out was something I knew I would have missed in high school.
Personally, I am very pleased that I waited so long to experience dating. While others may have found it fulfilling to have dated during high school and maybe even before that, I am happy I listened to my gut and waited until I was comfortable enough to experience it. I have found there are many pros to waiting, and I hope others choose to take a similar path if they feel that it’s the right decision for them. At least, I know it was for me.