5 a.m. Conversations with Myself

As of recent, I’ve realized that I am a morning person. I know…weird, right? I automatically wake up at 8 a.m. every morning (including the weekend) with no alarms, and my mind feels clear. The sun, the warmth of the blankets, the refreshed feeling of getting a good night's sleep, birds chirping, and coffee. It is truly what I thrive on and it is where my thoughts feel most inspired. I’ve come to crave those early hours of inspiration. 

A while ago, I wrote something. I woke up at nearly 5 o’clock in the morning, with these words ringing in my head. I raced out of bed and snatched my journal, pen at the ready, and wrote for 5 minutes straight. This is what came out of it. 

Imagine that life is like the beach. It can either be a good or bad experience depending on how you see it. See, there’s a duality to everything. The ocean provides wonder, life, joy, mystery, and happiness. But it can also entertain death, darkness, fear, and predators. So does life. Now imagine you; the girl with brown skin and curly black hair, standing waist-deep in the ocean water, with her feet firmly buried in the soft sand below. You can feel the ocean’s pull, tugging you towards darker rougher waters. But you can also feel the sand, anchoring you to your life, making its way back to everything you care about. The ocean's pull can sometimes feel strong, and though she is tempted to let go of this anchor and let the waves drag her into oblivion, she stops and thinks. She steps back, takes a deep breath, and makes her way back to the shimmering, bright white sand on the beach, towards her life and everything good about it. Most importantly, away from the ocean representing life and everything bad about it. There will always be a way. Things always get better, even if you have to fight against the power and pull of the ocean, things always get better. 

braids Photo by Alonso Reyes from Unsplash

For so long, this philosophy has rung clear in my head. I’ve never given up hope, never let go, because I knew that things will always get better. They have to. No matter what adversities are thrown at you, you can always make the conscious choice to turn around, look in the other direction, and walk towards the sand. This realization puts a very positive spin on life and I feel like it was partly inspired by the quiet still of the morning. I remember closing my eyes and reflecting in an appalled nature of how protected from reality, excluded from all expectation, and utterly safe that moment made me feel.

It's morning moments like these that leave me feeling strong and ready to face the world again. The little things really do hold so much value and sometimes, when you feel like you have nothing, you have to remember the things you take for granted. In the early morning hours, take a moment, be gentle with yourself, and learn how to sit with your own thoughts. This is life’s true happiness wrapped in bows. 

My life journal My Life Journal