We’ve all made mistakes in friendships. Whether it’s forgetting about plans you made with someone, or your best friend ditching you for a date, we’ve all been there. These things happen.
But when you’re getting older, sometimes you start to notice friendships that shift and change. Maybe you don’t “click” the same way you did in high school. Maybe your schedules just don’t match up anymore. Or maybe, they just don’t add the same value to your life that they used to. And while this is most definitely devastating for some, it’s also okay.
Here are four signs you’ve outgrown a friendship and exactly why it’s okay.
- YOU JUST DON’T “CLICK”
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We’re all human, which means that we all change and grow over time. Who you were in high school, most likely, has nothing to do with who you are now. Big life experiences like college and being more independent leads people to develop and grow in life. The humor you had three years ago may not be the same now, and that’s okay! What I’ve found is that while I don’t have the same best friends from high school, I still remain fulfilled by the people I choose to keep around me. I feel that these people best compliment my personality and make me feel good about myself.
- YOU DON’T FEEL COMFORTABLE anymore
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One of the main qualities I look for in a friend is someone who makes me feel comfortable. As a sensitive introvert, I try to surround myself with people who accept my vulnerability as a strong quality. If you don’t feel like you can open up to your friends candidly, then I’d honestly ask: what value is this friendship adding to my life? I feel my best when I can let my walls down with my friends, and you should too.
- you argue over petty things
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I’ve found that in past friendships, it’s been really easy for me to feel upset about small, trivial things. An example would be getting jealous when one of my “friends” hung out with other people. To me, this is a huge red flag, even though it was on my part. Although this argument came from my own sense of insecurity, it showed me that I wasn’t feeling fulfilled by this friendship originally. Any relationship you are a part of, whether it’s a friend, a boyfriend/girlfriend, etc., shouldn’t feel like a one-way street.
- you both just “don’t have the time”
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Have you ever found a friend that can just never hang? I get it — life gets busy. But when there’s someone who just keeps pushing you off and makes it seem like it’s more your problem than theirs, it’s time to go. Sometimes you genuinely are just busy; this semester has been insane for me. But if it still even feels like too much effort to just text someone and check-in, I’d say you’re probably better off going your separate ways.
I’m not saying any of this is easy. I still grieve friendships from my past that are no longer present in my life. And sometimes you might even be able to work it out with someone. What I’m trying to say here is that you need to prioritize YOU in your friendships. You are allowed to let go of what no longer serves you.
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