The guys are always the “players” right? And we’re just the innocent girls who get happily sucked in to their tempting charm. We want them when we know we shouldn’t, and even though we’re given fair warning, we go for them anyway.
Well not anymore, ladies. Now we’re holding the pawns and collecting the blue paper bill$. Who says only the men can play the game? Here’s a guide to play the game of flirtation just as well as the boys do.
1. Be Confident. Confidence is sexy, and a guy won’t want a girl who doesn’t believe she’s desirable. Keep your shoulders back and your chin up, and if you’re flirting with a guy, make sure to keep up that morale. Confidence is radiant and if he can see that in you, that may even lift his own spirits.
2. Be Playful and a little silly. Guys want a girl with personality and even if you don’t want anything long term, he’ll be attracted to your carefree attitude and unique approach. Crack a few corny jokes or make a goofy face from across the bar. A girl who’s not afraid to act a little silly will stick in his mind longer than the girl with the short skirt.
3. Laugh! This one seems obvious, but a guy will keep a girl around if he thinks he makes her smile. So what if you don’t get his jokes or can’t even hear anything he’s saying because the music is so loud? Laughing eases that I just met you tension and is a good opportunity to get a little closer.
4. Be mysterious. He doesn’t know everything about you, so don’t reveal it all right away! Too much too soon can turn a guy off, but just enough each time you talk will make you mysterious, and guys like a girl they can’t quite figure out.
5. Don’t share too much. As girls, we have a tendency to… well, talk (about ourselves especially), but a good flirt doesn’t hog the spotlight. Tell him your name, your major, and why your friends call you “Dizzy,” but don’t talk about your uncomfortable relationship with your mom or how much you drank two weekends ago. A good flirt always keeps it together, and a lot of that comes through communication. It’s okay to talk about something personal every now and then, as long as it’s relevant, but keep the details to a minimum and the waterworks at bay. Unless he asks, he probably doesn’t want to know.
6. Ask questions. Not only do you learn things about a guy by asking questions, but you also begin to find underlying things about him, which can be valuable to you. Asking questions makes you seem caring and interested, and can also help refrain you from talking too much about yourself.
7. Be a good kisser. A good kisser can kiss as well as she can tease. Don’t go right in for the kill but let him know you want it. He doesn’t deserve it quite yet, anyway, so make him work for it!
8. Don’t give it up right away! Not the first date (or sleepover), or the second date, or even the third date. A good flirt is sexy and desirable but shouldn’t need to give it up to keep the ball rolling. And if you make him wait, he’ll just want it more.
9. Keep some space. You like him but you don’t want him to lose interest, so don’t constantly text him or approach him at the party as soon as you walk in. Keep things casual, like you’re not really that interested and play it cool. If he’s not interested, this is the best way to find out. If he is, this is how you keep things alive between the two of you for a longer period of time.
10. Be flirty around him, but don’t overdo it! The girl he wants is either going to be the girl he thinks he can’t have or the girl everyone else wants, so don’t make it like you’re his right away. Walk around the party, giggle with your girlfriends and make a point to talk to a few other guys – but you’re not making him jealous, that’s a whole different story. You’re just showing him that you’re independent and can have a good time even when he’s not around.
11. Don’t always keep him in the loop. You don’t have to find him before you leave the bar, or text him before you fall asleep, or tell him how you did on that exam. If he wants to know he’ll ask and if you don’t make it like you need him to know, he may begin to wonder on his own. But whether or not he asks, keeping him up-to-date on your every move will make you seem needy, and you don’t want that!
12. Guys love a chase, so give them a chase! The main thing to remember is: boys love a chase (as do us girls), so keep him running! Let him in just enough, but keep the fire fueled with a hearty mix of flirtation and mystery. And never reveal your secrets! Good luck, ladies!