We live in a pro-hook up culture, but there are still the few of us who go on dates and are thrown by what’s appropriate and what isn’t on a first date. Fear not, here is a list of 10 things to avoid on a first date.
1. Don’t be touchy feely
The right amount of physical contact and body language can change the entire nature of a first date, but when is it too much? Real Live College Guy (RLCG) Narsingh from the University of Toronto says: “I think this applies to both parties, but neither should be too clingy; it’s a little too desperate.”
2. Don’t obsessively check your phone
We’re all guilty of this as a millennial generation, but nothing ruins a first date faster than a person obsessively checking their phone and messaging their friends on how good a date is going. Not only does it give the impression that you’re not that invested, but the date is still going on even when you’re texting and you won’t fully be able to enjoy it.
3. The “Who’s gonna pay?” Dance
The pay check dance is one of the most confusing aspects of the first date, but it’s safe to say that if you want to take charge, you should! Collegiette Reagan Thompson from the University of Westminster says: “I once went out with a guy who said ‘So I guess I have to pay, right?’ Safe to say there wasn’t a second date.”
It’s the 21st century people! Either you split the bill or one of you just takes the bill when it arrives, pay for it, and avoid the awkward dance of “Oh well, but you’re the guy/girl.” Guys, we appreciate letting you be the gentleman, but sometimes a girl’s completely alright reaching for the bill.
4. Avoid the Ex-Files
It’s a first date; you’re not signing a contract for matrimony! No one needs to know your entire romantic history. Nothing sours a first date like a person obsessively talking about what this ex did or didn’t do, or how much you still like or hate them. However, there is a line here. It’s okay to bring it up casually as it can also seem like you’re open and comfortable talking about your relationships, but don’t make it the focus of the entire date.
5. Food Wars
There’s really no easy way to say this, but drawing attention to how much a person eats or doesn’t eat is a major turn off. It may sound like a compliment when you say, “I love that you’re a healthy eater” but it won’t necessarily come across that way. Best way to avoid this is by sharing food; it’s romantic and doesn’t make either party feel like they’re looking into a bowl of numbers (here’s your meal, hope you’re loving the 6000 calories worth of butter with your fries). Body image is a serious issue with both men and women, and there’s enough negativity in the world without feeling like we’re receiving it from a person we’re on a date with. Tres sexy? Think again.
6. Showers are your best friend
This goes without saying, but the post-workout odor can be left at home. Be proud of your healthy life choices, but don’t come to a date smelling like you were rolling around in a pig pen and massaging yourself with rotten eggs. There’s probably at least one study out there explaining how the scent of a person can seriously affect attraction. Your roll-on and Altoids will be your saviors.
7. TMI
Letting someone know that you would like to have 3 children and that you already know what you want to name them can wait until you’ve been dating a significant amount of time. Nothing is scarier than unloading too much information on a first date. The same goes for telling someone about your biological clock and bowel movements, unless you’re on a date with a gynecologist or on your way to a colonoscopy.
8. “Imma let you finish, but…”
Pay attention to one another! You’re both fairly new to each other and chances are you don’t know each other well at all, so the first date is the only opportunity for you to really know someone in an intimate setting (unless you proceed to the second date). Don’t interrupt every time they say something with an anecdote of your own, find the right time to add to a conversation. Neither one of you should try to dominate and steer the course of the entire conversation.
9. Wash your mouth out first
A really surprising development in proper first date behavior is avoiding the sailor talk. Swearing too much can be grating to people, especially when they’re new to you. Save the dirty talk for a place that’s more appropriate.
10. Talking about insecurities and fishing for compliments
No one is Beyonce and Jay-Z 2.0. We get it, you’re fantastic, but fishing for compliments from us will only make you seem like you’re very insecure and in dire need of adulation in order to survive. Compliments are like seasoning: you over do them and they lose their value. The same goes for openly talking about every insecurity you’ve ever had, just leave that for the person to discover in progressive dates, you don’t have to be an open book from the first minute. What’s life without a little mystery?
Good luck, Collegiettes!