Breast cancer is a very serious disease that can affect many aspects of one’s life, but a part not often talked about is sex. How do you remain a sexual being when under going treatment, or how do you regain confidence after having a mastectomy? These are tough questions that are not always answered because, let’s face it, people don’t want to talk about sex, especially when it comes to having a disease. We often categorize people with a disease or disability as “unisexual”, yet they are still just as sexually capable and desiring as any healthy human being.
One very important way that women can get through this difficult time is by having a supportive partner. A partner can be a source of stability, strength, and relief when dealing with a difficult. If the partner isn’t supportive? Ditch him; if he can’t handle this, he’s not worth it. It is important to keep communication open about how you are feeling and what you are up for sexually. They may think that because you are going through treatment that you are fragile or weak and they don’t want to hurt you, but if you feel strong enough for sex then definitely tell them. Even if it’s not full blown intercourse, there are still many ways to be sexual with your partner. Just let them know how you are feeling and what you are up for. It will certainly help you regain a sense of normalcy to your life.
Having to undergo a mastectomy can be very traumatic for breast cancer patients. On the one hand you are eliminating the disease (hopefully) from your body and on the path to recovery. However, as women our breasts are a major part of our femininity and losing one can be a major blow to our sense of self. Will my partner still find me attractive? Am I any less of a woman? How do I go out in public with only one breast? There are a number of different ways to deal with this. Again, having a supportive partner can be key to regaining confidence. Also knowing that the number of breasts you have doesn’t make you any more or less of a woman. Of course getting reconstructive surgery with breasts implants is always an option, but it is expensive and not everyone wants to go that route. The cheaper alternative is mastectomy bras and swimwear that have enough padding to make it look like your breast is there. As far as sex goes, make sure to keep an open line of communication about whomever you are with. It is better to keep them well informed then get home, take off your bra, and surprise them with the truth. It also helps you weeds out the weak ones early on.
I want to reiterate that having cancer or another illness or a disability does not mean that someone looses their ability to be sexual. Maybe they can’t be sexual in the traditional way, but people always adjust and adapt and can work things out. The major thing is to gain confidence in your sexuality, and then find a partner who is understanding and supportive and is willing to adapt with you. Trust me, there’s more of them out there then you think.