Sl*t (noun): a promiscuous girl, also used as an insult to bring girls down for being sexually active. I got to reflecting on the word “sl*t” the other day when I overheard this conversation: “So [boy from the roost] came over at 2 am for a little make out sesh and cuddle. He wasn’t that great though…” “Well maybe if you weren’t such a sl*t you could land a boyfriend finally!” A slut? Really? For having a guy come over and make out? That seemed absurd. Doesn’t every single gal deserve a make out and cuddle once and a while? It seems that more and more girls are using “sl*t” to put down other girls for being sexually active to any degree. It used to be reserved for girls who slept around, A LOT, but now it seems that any girl who gets any sort of action is a sl*t, and worse it’s girl-on-girl insults.
This is supposed to be an era of sexually equality where, finally, it is getting more acceptable for girls to be seen as sexual creatures who desire a little action just as much as the guys, yet it seems more and more we are putting each other down for it. We should be supporting each other in our sexual conquests and helping each other navigate the murky waters of dating, hook-ups, and sex, not tearing each other down. Whether it stems from jealousy, cattiness, or reputation preservation, I think we, as bright and progressive collegiette’s, should put “sl*t” away and think of some new terminology that AREN’T insults for our sexually active friends. Here are some suggestions:
- Flirt: whatever happened to calling the more outgoing ladies flirts? Just because they are getting guys attention and flirting back doesn’t make them sluts; they may not even be sleeping with anyone! Don’t be jealous that the girl in the forever 21 dress is getting the football players’ attention, go out there and be a flirt yourself! Instead of calling her a sl*t, go be a little flirtatious yourself.
- Tease: The girl in the conversation I overhead is definitely a tease: she invited a guy over at 2am after a night of drinking, made out with him, let him sleep in her bed, but declined to have sex with him. That takes a lot of confidence and power to turn down a guy who’s already in bed with you. In this sense tease it not a bad word, it means the girl was able to get what she wants but not necessarily give the guy everything that he wanted, which can often leave them wanting more.
- Conqueror: This might be the friend you would typically call the “sl*t”; she goes out, finds a guy, takes him home/goes home with him and hooks up. She doesn’t regret it, she enjoyed it, and in fact had even gone out prowling for it. This girl isn’t a sl*t, she just knows what she wants and goes after it. Instead of tearing her down for her actions, applaud her confidence and go-getter attitude. She clearly is enjoying her sexuality.
There is a major difference between being confident in yourself/enjoying your sexuality and just hooking-up because you have low self-esteem and think it’s what everyone else is doing. The true “sl*ts” are the ones who hook-up not because they enjoy, but because they think it will fill some void inside themselves or make someone like them better. They just lay there and take it, not even fully participating in the act. Girls like that give the girls who are actively pursuing an active sex life a bad name. Even then, I wouldn’t call them “sl*ts”, I would just say they lack integrity. For more in depth discussion, watch this episode of Sex & Wine w/ S&J
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=503487637#!/video/video.php?v=175…
So please, ladies, let’s all try and work on building each other up and supporting each other for our sexuality, not trying to take each other down. Guys shouldn’t be the only ones high-fiving after a good hook-up.