As someone who is in the field of human sexuality, I would say the number #1 topic girls ask me about is oral sex. Specifically, how do they enjoy giving head more? This can be tricky because if you think about it, giving oral sex is one of the most selfless sexual acts you can perform because you are putting aside your own needs to give this person pleasure.
It is usually deemed a necessary first step to intercourse to get a guy hard, and is often rushed through in order to get to intercourse (and often guys rush through giving US oral sex for the same reason). If you look at it this way it may seem like a chore, something you “have” to do in order for the guy to get hard and I know a lot of girls out there who don’t like it. But there is a different way of looking at oral sex; as something that stands all on it’s own, not as foreplay but as COREplay.
In his book, Passionista, Dr. Ian Kerner (a sex therapist in NYC) talks about oral sex as COREplay: instead of being a precursor to sex, it is an act that can be done all on it’s own. Instead of sex being the main focus, oral sex is the main focus. You are giving your partner the gift of pleasure, and that in itself is something everyone can enjoy. This might be harder to do if the situation is a one-night stand because often oral sex (at least giving it) is much more enjoyable when in a relationship.
Many women I have spoken with have felt that oral sex is actually more intimate than intercourse because it is your MOUTH you are putting on their genitals, so everything is right up in your face. They said it was much more pleasurable for them to be giving a partner who they loved and trusted head then some random guy they were hooking up with.
So how does one enjoy it more? As I said, thinking about it as a gift you are giving your partner and thinking about how much they enjoy it versus just as a sexual precursor is a good start. Also, the old method of putting their entire penis in your mouth and moving your head back and forth is completely archaic and will probably make you gag. Use your hands to stimulate the shaft and focus your mouth on the tip, which is the most sensitive area anyway. That way you also won’t have to go as deep and can avoid gagging. If you want to go for a deep throat, just make sure to breathe and focus on your breathing and it will keep you from gagging.
DO NOT let someone push your head down onto their penis. That is rude and completely disrespectful and you have every right to end the act and kick them out if they do it.
Remember that sex doesn’t always have to go in steps of ABC; A, B, and C are all acts that can stand on their own. Kissing doesn’t always have to lead to oral sex, oral sex doesn’t have to lead to intercourse, and intercourse doesn’t always have to lead to orgasm. If you take some of that pressure off, you will find everything to be more enjoyable.