A New Twist on Tinker Toys
I think perhaps one of the most frustrating things about being a woman is that masturbating is taboo for us to do. I mean, guys hear that we like pleasure and we are suddenly a Pandora’s box of sexual possibilities. Are you serious? It is 2012, people, I think it’s safe to say women have touched themselves without the assistance of someone else.
I can remember a conversation in high school as if it was yesterday: I was in the lunch line and these two guys who were friends of mine were talking about masturbating. They were wondering why my friend and I were not telling them that we didn’t want to talk about it. I retorted with, “Everyone masturbates or has tried to”. I think I heard the sounds of their jaws hitting the floor.
But why am I going on about all of this? Because I want everyone to know that this is what a lot of people assume, and yet, I am writing this article about sex toys by the request of women. We want people to know that we like to masturbate and that it’s totally acceptable to want to go home and switch on the old bunny, if you know what I mean. So, without further ado, here are some of the most popular pieces of machinery for a party of one (actual names of machines have been left out to preserve anonymity…or copyright):
1. “The ammo”: This is your basic silver bullet. This is for external use only ;) You can buy one with a battery pack attached or one that has small watch batteries inside, like the one shown below. This would be recommended for individuals who are just beginning to get to know themselves.
http://ak1.ostkcdn.com/images/products/23/543/P12370120.jpg
2. “The tickler on crack”: This is a silver bullet with a thousand horsepower. It is for external use only, but be careful with this one. You may only want to use it outside of your underwear in order to prevent rug burn.
http://athenasbyshanna.1freecart.com/i/27658/the-celebrator.htm
3. “The basic light saber”: This is the toy that you can find at any novelty store. You can purchase one that doesn’t vibrate, and looks realistic, or one that vibrates, like the vibe shown. They can be as inexpensive as a $15 dollar purchase, if you are looking for a bargain orgasm. In addition, this can be used in tandem with the silver bullet.
4. “It says waterproof…”: This is how the dorm shower scenario came about. Truth is, you can find a lot of standard vibrators that are waterproof if you check the label, just don’t be that girl who brings her plug-in into the shower.
5. “Double trouble”: At last, ladies, you don’t have to hold the basic light saber and the silver bullet with your five hands; this has two in one! It is a vibrating basic light saber with an attached external stimulator.
http://www.therabbitvibrator.com/waterproof-jack-rabbit-vibrator.aspx
6. “I don’t let anyone know I have this, but I love it”: Don’t judge a book by its cover. This one may look like a handful, but it is great for individuals who are unsure as to whether they enjoy anal stimulation. You have the option of not using the anal stimulator, but you probably will… secretly…
http://www.amazon.com/Ribbed-Rabbit-Vibrator-With-Tickler/dp/B005F60JPK
7. “Electric shock”: This is the vibrator from 1960 with the horsepower of 2012. It is incredibly underrated! This is a plug-in vibrator that closely resembles a microphone. For the avid masturbator, you will never have to buy batteries again!