At some point in most people’s lives, they go through a mental health struggle. Whatever the battle may be, some reach out to others (whether therapists or otherwise), but many continue to struggle in silence. I was one of those people for the longest time. I avoided discussing my issues and struggles with others, not out of fear, but just because I didn’t want to-, I could handle it independently.
With the onset of Covid, my life has changed dramatically- some of it unrelated to the pandemic. Between online college classes and being home (in Alaska), I was away from all of my friends and the circle I had built and was left doing courses in my home bedroom at a desk I didn’t even use in high school.
I didn’t notice a mental decline until the Fall of 2020, my second semester online but the first complete one. I had 5 am classes because of time differences and was quite literally- home stuck. As small as my hometown is, there was very little to go out and do. My only time outside was a weekly walk to the post office until winter came. Let me tell you- I understand Rapunzel’s want to go out now.
I had little to no motivation for anything as the semester went on. Seeing all of my friends having classes on campus and knowing that I was stuck at home 4000 miles away- really took a toll on me. My grades were slipping, and I had no motivation to fix it, just the anxiety of if I couldn’t fix it- which just made everything worse.
During the semester, I had seen an advertisement for Teladoc and decided to look into it. My insurance would cover treatment, and I filled out my profile, but I never used it. I was continuously putting it off because I never liked the idea of just talking to someone. It stayed downloaded on my phone, but I didn’t open it again for months afterward.
My biggest struggle, however, came at the end of November. My constant companion of 12 years, my long-haired Siamese cat, passed away after months of health struggles. After this, I couldn’t sleep in my room for a week. I tried so hard not to live on my living room couch and wallow. With time things got a little better. Finals came and went, and I passed all of my classes; I took one low pass, though- but I’ll have to live with that.
Time passed, and I began my third semester of online college. I was looking forward to some of my classes and was excited to get back to a small sense of the normal I so desperately craved. However, I began to observe many of the same behaviors that made the previous semester challenging for me, and I knew I wouldn’t say I liked a repeat. So, I reopened Teladoc.
They have you request an appointment 72 hours in advance so that the professional you selected has an opportunity to schedule your meeting. If you’re looking for someone to talk to immediately- Teladoc is definitely not the answer.
I made an appointment with a mental health professional for a Wednesday night in February.
The meeting started well enough, and the therapist seemed genuinely friendly. It appeared as though she listened to me and cared about what I had to say. She asked questions about my life and my living situation. At the end of our discussions, she told me that she would have Teladoc send me information to read over about the illnesses she believed I might have based on our first meeting. She also mentioned that she would like to have follow-up sessions to discuss coping strategies and gather information further.
It was nice to talk to someone, especially someone I felt had cared about what I had to say. However, three days came and went without any word from Teladoc with the information she said she would send over. On the fourth day, I received a Teladoc message. It contained information about something that she never mentioned to me.
This had really bothered me, that someone I had felt listened to me wanted to label me with something that I didn’t even have symptoms for. Nearly everything she and I had discussed had been present for many months and, in some cases, years, before the death of my cat and the onset of Covid. I wish she had mentioned this to me in our meeting instead of seeing it in the informational message from Teladoc.
I decided in the end that this therapist just wasn’t for me. However, I do not in the slightest blame Teladoc, or the therapist, for that matter. Mental health is a tricky field to navigate, and everyone is different and will respond differently to things. Perhaps I acted rashly with my judgment after the informational message I received, but I know that I wouldn’t be willing to open up again after that. And I think that’s okay. You are entitled to the feelings you have in a situation, especially concerning your well-being.
This all considered, I would be willing to use Teladoc again. However, I feel as though having the ability to see someone in person and online when needed- is ideal for me as a person, but for others, E-medicine may be the only help they will accept.
Regardless of how you judge my journey, I hope you keep your mind open to people’s struggles and your own options to better yourself. Perhaps you want someone to listen to you, or maybe you are looking for help with time-costly struggles. Teladoc is a good platform to try out, especially if you feel hesitant like I had in the beginning. Don’t let your own self be the one who holds you back.
Personally, I will continue reaching out until I find that one perfect person to help me out. No matter how many times I may get it wrong, I won’t allow myself to feel trapped with someone just because I saw them a single time. My mental health is my own responsibility, and I am starting to take it more seriously than I ever had in the past.