No one likes an awkward post-sex situation, and sometimes it can almost seem inevitable. Everyone always asks “How do I make things less awkward?” Because of negative gender stereotypes, men often fear that once they have sex with a girl she is going to become a “stage-5 clinger” and want something more from him. This is often what leads to the awkwardness that can come after a night between the sheets (or wherever you choose to have sex). The guy stops texting you or he avoids making eye contact when you see him in the union later that week. Here’s a few ways to avoid that awkwardness.
The first thing is that you should make it clear to yourself and him what your expectations are. If this was a random hook-up then it would be beneficial to you and him to let him know the next morning, “Hey don’t worry, I’m not looking for a relationship. This was just a hook up. See you around.” That way he knows you’re not going to be texting him and looking to go on a date. If this is someone you have feelings for and are looking to develop something with, you might want to reconsider the hook-up, or at least know where he stands. While you might be thinking that the sex will lead to something more, there is a good chance for him that it won’t. I know this may seem like a hard conversation to have with yourself, let alone him, but you don’t want to ruin a friendship or a potential relationship with a hook-up that goes downhill. This especially happens when you start texting him a lot after you hook-up. While you might just be looking for another make out session, he could perceive it as clingy-ness and run the other way. While I consider this to be a huge flaw in men and think that they need to relax, just because you text doesn’t mean you’re needy, it’s just the reality of how they are.
One of the most awkward situations is hooking up with a guy who is a friend. Sex changes the relationship, no matter how hard you may try otherwise. This is a situation where you really need to make it clear (if you are just in it for sex) that this doesn’t change anything, you’re still just friends, but now with benefits. You may even need to put on your big girl pants and lay down the law. If he starts playing games or jerking you around you need to say, “Listen, I’m down to be friends with benefits, but I’m not ok with being played.” What does being played look like you might ask? It could be any of the following: he’s ditching you for other girls, he says he’ll come over for a hook-up but then doesn’t, he’s telling a lot of people about your situation, he thinks you’ll give him special treatment just because you had sex. I know it may seem intimidating, but trust me, if you tell him to knock it off you will feel super empowered and chances are he will stop the jerky behavior and you can continue being friends.
Sometimes there are situations that are just really awkward: you drunkenly hook-up with someone at the bar, everyone witnesses you leaving the brew with a boy, you hook-up with a friend’s roommate, or you have a hook-up so notorious that the whole campus is talking about it. This may call for a weekend or two of just laying low and keeping your head down. Give it some time and things will blow over, people will stop talking, and hopefully the guy will get the message that you’re over the whole situation.
Whether it’s a friend, a one-night stand, or someone you may have feelings for, the best way to confront an awkward situation is to do just that: confront it straight on. Tell him flat out he is being awkward and it isn’t necessary, you’re not going to get clingy, so he can just relax. If he is still awkward after that then he is too immature for sex and therefore too immature for you, so move onward and upward. There are plenty of guys out there who can be normal after sex and treat you like a human being (or better yet the sex goddess you really are).
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