Throughout 2021, I noticed myself slipping through the cracks. I stopped doing things for myself, I was doing the bare minimum, and I could feel myself caring less and less. The beginning of a new year brings about hopes, dreams, and goals for the future. I was tired, tired of feeling like I was constantly down in the dumps. I was exhausted from knowing I can be the person I want to be, but not having the energy to get there. By the time 2022 rolled around, I had decided that I was going to spend this year focusing on myself. No, I don’t mean creating a better skin care regime and doing face masks while sipping a glass of wine. I mean the kind of self care where you stop saying yes to everything, stop overextending yourself to the brink of mental breakdowns, and genuinely start doing what makes you happy.
We are now rolling into the beginning of March, and what have I done to take care of myself so far? Well, I’ve picked up journaling and do it at least three times a week. I find that using a journal lets me get all of my thoughts out into a space free of judgment from others. It gives me more time to reflect and consider why I am having these emotions. It also reduces the amount of anxiety I have. My thoughts are always jumbled in my head and sometimes I get so lost in my worries and panic that I can’t possibly consider living “in the moment” or even truly think straight. Journaling allows me to put these thoughts on paper and realize that over half of them are irrational.
In January, I decided to take a step back from the organizations I had been a part of since my freshman year at the University of Maine. It wasn’t a goodbye, it was a see you later. I had found myself dreading all of the meetings, the mandatory events, and most of all, the drama. With 2022 being my year of self-care, I felt I shouldn’t force myself to continue down a path I didn’t want to be on. I believe I’ve made my peace and for now, in this season of life, it wasn’t serving the purpose it once did. Once stepping away, I have found myself with much more time for the things I love and want to do.
Over the years, I’ve lost touch with my hobbies. I had become so consumed with how busy I was between work, school, and extracurriculars. Every minute was planned and typically filled with not much time for me or any of the things I enjoyed. Since taking a step back and making myself a priority, I’ve picked up photography again. I’ve loved it since I was young but had fallen out of touch with it since coming to college. Now that I have more time, I’ve been excited to go out on more photoshoots and just enjoy taking pictures. It’s a small thing but it brings me joy to finally be back doing the things I love.
This is a journey and these are the first few steps I’ve taken. I’m happy with my progress and the path that I am on. I’m proud of myself for starting this and I’m looking forward to where I’ll be at the end of 2022.