As a college freshman, I can still honestly say that I am completely overwhelmed by the entire college experience. The constant freedom and ability to keep yourself occupied 24/7 whether it be with homework, parties, student orgs or other stuff, is something that I have never experienced. Back at home, I would have considered myself a pretty independent kid. I had my own schedule with sports and school, so if my parents were home when I was, that was the marker of a pretty good day. Toward the end of my senior year, we made it our mission to have dinner together twice a week because of how busy all of our schedules were. However, none of that was real independence. What I’m talking about with college is the “buy your own groceries kind of independence,” which I now know I am not as ready for it as I thought I was.
Another big part of the transition to college that I have noticed so far is that the constant activity, commotion and distraction leaves me with very little time. There’s also little time to check in on myself and how I am actually doing, whether that be emotionally, physically or mentally. Socializing all of the time leaves me always wondering if I am giving the right impression to these new people, which leads to a lot of self-doubt and questioning. Being surrounded by thousands of handsome guys seems great too, but it also makes you think about all of the other girls around that seem to be skinnier or blonder or have more flawless makeup than you. The freshman 15 cloud is constantly hanging over my head, as well as the ability to eat my body weight in sweet potato tots at the dining hall.
Another contributor to this poor mental state is the communal living aspect. There’s really no time that you are by yourself, let alone where you can have a good cry or scream or just lay down and listen to your favorite songs that remind you of home. This is something I have particularly struggled with. Whenever I am sad or frustrated I tend to distract myself, so then I don’t have to think about it. Out of sight, out of mind… right? This is what psychologists call avoidance behavior, and I’d consider myself to be a professional.
However, for the first few weeks here, I have found myself wanting time to check in with myself. I have found myself taking longer showers just to get some time away or taking a longer time at the gym so that I have time to myself. I have started thinking about therapy for the first time in my life, not because I have diagnosable depression or anxiety, but just because I am starting to understand the vital importance of mental health, especially in this environment.
The more I take time for myself, the more I appreciate and love what the college experience is all about. I write this not to just share my side of the story, but to hopefully appeal to other women out there who are feeling overwhelmed or are also professional practicers of avoidance behavior. What I would ask all of you ladies to do is to take some time to just be by yourself. Even if that means going to a coffee shop alone to work on homework, hit the gym alone or just simple things like that. I have found that even super small things, like eating breakfast alone, has allowed me to start off my day a little more focused and gives me some time to reflect on what I have accomplished and/or what I need to accomplish that day.
College is one of the best experiences of your life, so you want to be your best self for it. So please, take those five minutes and to be alone, you will be happy you did.