Every relationship has its problems – true, but UI sophomore Alicia Ullrich and her boyfriend have been staying strong through it all. “It all” includes her parents not liking him, reuniting after a one-year break-up, him being a service member, as well as his anxiety managing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Read her interview to for Alicia’s thoughts on ‘Modern Love’.
The Beginning
Alicia and her boyfriend met in their high school foods class. She described it as a coincidence since they met because of the seating order. They dated for two years in high school and later broke-up. Alicia says this was the best thing for their relationship. He went and joined the National Guard and she came to The University of Iowa.
How do you deal with your parents not liking your boyfriend?
“It is hard, when he is not invited to family events or when my family attempts to convince me that he is not the one.” She says “I hope that one day we prove them wrong. You have to really love someone to defy your family to be with them.”
What changed after the break-up?
“I know it sounds cliché but it is true. We learned to appreciate each other more. While we were broken-up, he was deployed to Afghanistan, which gave him a fresh take on things. I lived out my freshmen days and now I am more grounded as well.” She shared “We had a significant amount of time to explore and learn, so when we got back together, we knew that’s exactly what we wanted. We dated, but he also had a son while we were broken-up”
Now that you are back together, how do you feel about having the component of a child?
“When you’re as close to someone as we are, you think about one day being married and having the first child together. At first, I was sad, but now I think that we can still have a first of our own. You have to get past all of the things that happened before in order to have a successful relationship in the future.”
How does the military experience affect your relationship?
“Well, we were not dating while he was deployed, but I get anxious about him being deployed again, especially since he suffers from PTSD*.”
How do you handle dealing with PTSD in your relationship?
“At first, I did not understand when he wanted to be alone or felt distant, but after talking with him more about it, I just had to learn to be patient with it.”
On Modern Love
Alicia has faced a lot of challenges in her relationship, but believes that they are together for a reason. Modern love is not the fairytales we see, but instead the journey of defining what love means to each individual and finding someone to work through “it all” with. We hope that Alicia and her boyfriend continue to prevail.
* PTSD or post-traumatic stress syndrome disorder is an anxiety disorder that occurs after being involved in a traumatic experience, usually involving death or injury. PTSD has gain more coverage since a lot of servicemen are diagnosed after returning from the battlefield.