To my younger self,
Yes, you look different now. You might think you are grown , but truth is, you’re not. That’s not supposed to be discouraging. Trust me when I say, let yourself be a kid for a little while longer. Enjoy your youth while you have it. Go out with friends and let yourself be unapologetically you. High school may have just started for you. Everyone will tell you it flies by and they are right. You might not care and be too excited for what is to come, but please live in the moment. You will not regret it.
I know you have so much on your mind right now. I know you will disagree with me, but the biggest thing on your mind right now is worrying about what others think of you. As hard as this might sound, stop. It’s not worth it and all it is doing is holding you back. You might think your peers, family, and friends are all thinking certain things about you, but trust me you are creating that narrative in your own mind. Don’t listen to that voice inside your head telling you that you don’t belong or are not pretty or smart enough. You belong. Looks do not matter. You are smart. Look in the mirror and say something nice to yourself instead of belittling yourself for no good reason.
I know you are struggling. It might seem like the world is out to get you and you won’t make it out alive, but I’m proof that you did. You are so unbelievably strong and you might not see it, but you will push through and conquer obstacles you could never dream of. Believe in yourself. I believe that you can and you will. Just a warning, loss and forgiveness is going to be a struggle for you. My advice: stand up for yourself, open your heart, and do what is best to take care of you. I know you like to take care of others, but take a little while to take care of yourself, especially during times where your heart is aching more than you have ever felt before.
Boys. It will seem like your life revolves around them. Newsflash: it doesn’t. You are an independent young woman who does not need a man. Would it be nice? Absolutely, but not having a guy in your life is not the end of the world. When you see how your best friends’ relationships go, you will understand. Just know that a man and the fact of whether you have one or not, does not determine your worth. Wait for the right one to come around and don’t be afraid to shoot your shot.
Let yourself grow into the wonderful and beautiful person you will become. Love yourself and stay strong, my dear. You have quite the adventure ahead of you.
You, but five years wiser
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