How do we measure the value of a relationship? The truth is it takes an exceptionally long time to recognize the significance of others. Relationships expose us to a world of responsibility, dependence, and challenge. There comes a time in every relationship where we feel resentful of our curiosity—the curiosities of how life would be without that person you have grown to love. This evolving thought process consumes us. The worst case scenario—hurting the person you love—is sometimes the solution for a better outcome. Strong and healthy relationships take time. As we have heard before: “If it were easy, everyone would do it.” Follow these steps toward your highest level of happiness—hopefully resulting in a stronger relationship.
Evaluate. This may seem simple enough—sitting down and evaluating what is and what is not important to you. Think again…the challenge plotted against us is time. Most of do not realize what we have until it is hanging by a thread or possibly until it is gone. If you are in a healthy and happy relationship, you should want to spend most of your time with your boyfriend—no argument there. But this does not mean becoming so consumed to the point of losing all sense of independence and time spent with others. Do remember this: constant time with someone can be overshadowing and can sometimes eat up what truly makes us who we are. Sit down and assess what your relationship means to you and whether or not this person is worth losing.
Take a break. Regardless if you are in a 3-year relationship and hopelessly in love or just started dating 6 months ago, breaks are necessary. Sure, we all think a break is a nice way of saying we are breaking up, but this is often not the case. It is crucial for all couples to responsibly take a short break and learn more about what exactly makes them happy—whether this be hanging out with your friends every night or taking up a hobby of your own. Independence and relations with others gets lost somewhere between the infatuation stage and the consecutive days of being with your significant other. A break may turn into a break-up but a possibility exists—the possibility of going back. One thing is true: during this trial of time, we will see what we value which is the most important thing. Once you establish this, you will feel no more resentment.
Balance Your Time. The act of balancing is not easy to master. Many of us steer away from confronting how we spend our time when in serious relationships. We often mindlessly spend all of our down time with our significant other because we feel comfortable and content. This is the stage where our mind drifts because curiosity and regret take a toll. Did you miss out on nights spent with friends? Time alone reading or just relaxing at your apartment? Time going home to be with family? It is not easy balancing time between friends, family, and a relationship. But it is extremely crucial in making a relationship last. Friends will only stick around so long until they have no more energy to waste hoping you will come around. It shouldn’t be about specifically mapping out how to spend your time with people or by yourself. You need to take it day-by-day and steer away from thinking too much. In the end, it is about what makes you happy—be with the people you want to be with at that moment in time. In the end, this will help every bond in your life, especially the relationship with yourself.