There’s no questioning that every man has a fantasy about getting with a Victoria’s Secret Angel. There just isn’t. It was almost written in stone after the premiere of Transformers: Dark of the Moon and every guy witnessed the divineness that is Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. Gigantic ass-kicking alien robots and supermodels, plus Joshua Duhamel for the females, all in one movie = ka-ching.
Can you say Megan who?
Historically speaking, this is a perfect example of the evolution of the male gaze. Translation – men like scantily clad woman, big tits, full lips and stunning eyes. That’s why you get girls running around in mini skirts in 20-degree weather without bras on with flocks of men following.
As much as men love the fishnet stockings, school girl outfits and push-up bras, don’t think we don’t notice the other end of your fashion effort to look like a woman. In fact, it’s quite arguable that a lot of your fully clothed outfits drive us crazier than your more revealing ones. So, putting lingerie and other sex shop sartorial sense aside, here are some clothing items that can keep our heads spinning.
Flannel
Excusing all barn dances and southern bar crawls, the flannel is a staple in ‘Merican fashion. Anyone who has been to Country Thunder can attest to that (because I can’t). In the winter months, nothings warmer and in some cases more attractive than a longhaired beauty wearing a loosely buttoned flannel sitting next to you in class. (Yeah, she’s not really wearing pants, but you get the idea.) If you’re graced with cleavage: good for you. However, the laidback and slightly hipster look you’ll have going on will have his mind focused on something other than your bra size. Every guy has a place in his mind for the alternative chick. Couple this with the next piece of clothing guys are obsessed with and you’ll be certified eye candy.
Yoga Pants
This is easily one of my favorite things about the Autumn/Winter seasons. Every freezing walk to class is made slightly more bearable because of the number of black leggings speckling the downtown and campus. Girls, you may do it because they’re comfortable and you don’t want to wear jeans, but it’s common knowledge to the male gender that every girl’s butt looks better in yoga pants. We don’t know why and we don’t want to know why, but it’s the truth. You guys already wear them to class with your sweatshirts and North Face’s, but put this with one of your summer or spring dresses and a coat and you’ll be a breath of fresh air to a lot of us the next time you go out. Sort of like a little winter hippie.
White Jeans
Yeah, you have to be tan, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that white jeans are like 300 times sexier than blue jeans. Point in case being, everyone notices a girl in white jeans because everyone else isn’t wearing them. White and any other different color jean – purple, red, brown – that work will have him ogling you in any situation. I was told it’s unacceptable to wear white pants in winter by one of my girl friends. I told them it’s also unacceptable to yell penis as loud as you can in urban shopping centers, but I do it anyway with gusto. Black boots and a black top should work fine.
Blazer
It’s not just for power hungry businesswomen and politicians as I’m sure you all know by now.
A midriff blazer with a slightly low cut shirt literally says, “Hey I want to be formal, but I’m also here to party.” Where this out to bars and bat your eyelashes a lot at any one of your spectators and it might as well be a bull’s-eye. Example A.
Dress Shirt
Other than being the perfect morning after garment of choice, a girl in a dress shirt with a couple buttons undone will have any guy tripping over bar stools or cubicles to get to you. (And seriously, if I wake up next to you and your tiptoeing from my bathroom into my bed wearing my dress shirt from last night, I’m sold.) Even if you’re out to eat, giving a presentation or out shopping men will instantly plug you into their favorite secretary/business woman fantasy. If you wear glasses, it’s just game over.
Final Note
Obviously ladies, you’re all your own fashion aficionados. I’m sure most of you incorporate this apparel into your wardrobes already and don’t need to hear fashion advice from a guy. However, the purpose of this article was to make you realize we notice a lot more than you think. Just remember you don’t have to dress up like an angel to get our attention. Or I guess, dress down.