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Dear fellow Iowan collegiates,

It’s that time again. Friday morning-you sleep through your alarm-wake up at 12-freak out-consider trying to make it to class-decide against it-go back to sleep-wake up in guilty sweat-fall back to sleep-wake up again/hungry-roll out of bed-stare at the floor in hesitation-realize a paper was due today-swear-find laptop under sheets-swear-WRITE EMAIL.

We all hate it. It’s probably the most annoying, tedious task since all of the fancy ladies had to write long letters and attach them to falcons...but we have to do it. It’s a part of college and unfortunately, a large part of life. To properly function in society, one must write emails well and frequently.

But how? Like this?  

Hey man!

Srry I missed class today. I vomited up the apartment like a crazy person (not cuz I was hungover tho! Lol). Just gotta get that assignment in, so how bout it? Can I turn it in Mon? That kewl?

Just lemme know!

-Elena (b-bop shizzle) that’s what the dudes in the class call me! Haha;)

NOPE.

Obviously, only a fraction of the student population even thinks like this, but it’s not unheard of to write a like-email.

Even if you think you are the very best buds with Signore Sartino or Professor Lupis, you’re not (unless you actually are . . . ummm, okay). The thing with college is life gets really formal. Once we turn 18 or so, everything we do must be done in a professional manner. Don’t avoid it. And definitely do not send emails like you’re a surfer bro from California. Apparently, it is not appreciated.

Start it simple: Dear Signore Sartino. Already you are giving him the respect teachers expect. It doesn’t matter if he’s the biggest douche ever. You want your paper accepted, right?

Continue in the same manner.

Dear Signore Sartino,

Due to a bad night, I could not make it to class today. Would you like me to turn my paper in on Monday or by email?

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Elena

Short and smart. No professor wants to read a jumble of useless apologies and concerns. Because, truthfully, most of them do not care.

It may not seem that important, but email etiquette is definitely something to worry about. It is even more significant when you’re emailing a prospective boss or an internship coordinator or, who knows, Sally Mason. If you want to be taken seriously, write seriously. 

Sincerely,

Elena

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