I don’t remember the first time that I ever looked at my body and thought, “Wow I really wish I didn’t look like this,” but I know that for as long as I can remember I’ve always thought that way. But when I think about it, my body does so much for me and I never take a moment to just be thankful for all that it is, at this time.
It’s easy to get lost staring with envy for others and hate for yourself, in this society where nothing is worth more than appearances. Be thin, but not too thin and look muscular, but not too much otherwise you’ll give off a manly vibe. But wait? Did I mention that I also want you to be tan, with a snatched waist and a perfect butt? I’m sure that we’ve all heard these expectations that we set for ourselves based off of what we see on our Instagram feeds, but I really wish that these wouldn’t be the baseline for what looks good right now.
When I was in high school, I was a competitive cheerleader/gymnast, and I thought that I was fat because I didn’t have as lean of a body as other girls on my team. But as I’m going through my camera roll the other day, I thought to myself, “Damn, I looked so good,” and I truly took for granted the body that I had at the time. I let the words of others and the internal anxiety of not looking good enough halt me from appreciating who I was at 17.
I got to thinking after this, though, that maybe the way that I look right now will be a moment I look back on and want to look like again in a few years. So why should I wait for a few years to come when I can just start loving the way I am right now?
I know, I know. It is so much easier said than done, but here’s how I think we can shift our mindsets from self deprecating to self loving.
First of all, I’ve noticed that confidence is absolutely key. It doesn’t matter what body type you have or what you’re wearing, if you tell yourself that you are just going to feel good for five seconds then your energy will change and people will start seeing you as someone who is looking good and feeling good. Fake it til you make it, right? It sounds like I’m saying that all that matters is what you put off to other people, but if you decide for a moment that you like yourself, someday you truly will.
I used to do this a long time ago and I think that I’m going to start doing it again: writing sticky notes and picking out 3 things I like about myself every morning. I spend so much time picking out the things that I don’t like that I forget to recognize the things I do. It can be something simple like “I like my eyes” or “I like the way my hair looks no matter what color I change it to.”
Give your body the love it deserves. It does a lot of things for you – like keeping you alive and moving, for one – and it’s only going to be as good as you take care of it. I keep telling myself to go to the gym, but for the wrong reasons. I’m trying to shift my mindset into thinking I’m not going because I want to look good for other people, but because my body deserves to be taken care of for all that it does for me. Because really, I might hate the extra weight in my belly or the stretch marks on my butt, but they’re reflective of moments in my life. I ate more because I was happy and comfortable and my stretch marks are really just signs of my body growing with me; they really aren’t something I should be ashamed of.
Basically what I’m trying to say is that all of us spend so much time reflecting on our past selves and wishing we could go back to looking one way or another, but someday we’re going to look back and think that about what we look like right now – so why not just speed up the clock and appreciate who we are in this moment?
I know this article is about loving your body, but to be stereotypical, who you are is not defined by how you look. I find that when I am mentally in the right space, I end up perceiving myself as looking better and I don’t care as much about how I look because I’m content with who I am mentally. And hey, your body includes your mind, so take care of that, too.
On a final note, one of my coworkers explained body positivity to me like this: We only get one vessel while we’re on this Earth, and it’s kind of like our pet. It depends on us to feed it, water it, bathe it, take it for walks, and give it the love it deserves. So if you think about how much you do for your pets out of love, then it might be easier to do the same for our bodies and ourselves.
If you’re like me, it might be a long journey through winding roads and rocky terrain to get to being at a place where you’re happy with yourself; however, you can’t get anywhere if you don’t decide to get in the car and start that journey.