Ever since the day after Valentine’s Day, I’ve noticed an influx of breakups on Facebook. It seems like even couples that have been in a relationship since high school are suddenly calling it quits after being on the verge of engagement. Several of my closest friends have fallen victim to this epidemic of singledom, and they are finding it very difficult to cope. Many of these very same friends are turning to whatever generic and outdated breakup playlists that Google will offer up to them. Inevitably they are finding that you can only handle so much Alanis Morissette before you begin to realize that the lyrics in her song “Ironic” are not ironic at all.
So, in honor of all of my friends who have recently fallen victim to heartbreak, I have devised a playlist. This playlist features ten different breakup songs that emit different attitudes towards the unfortunate circumstance of being broken up with. No two breakups are the same right? Now find the song that’s best fit for you, and take a drink because you are single and ready to party!
1. Life is going to be a hell of a lot better without you in it.
Florence and the Machine – “Shake It Out”
“And given half the chance would I take any of it back, it’s a fine romance but it’s left me so undone, it’s always darkest before the dawn”
2. This sucks, but you suck more, deuces.
Duffy – “Warwick Avenue”
“I showed you the answers, now here’s the door”
3. Okay, my life may quite possibly be over.
Christina Perri – “The Lonely”
“Dancing slowly in an empty in an empty room, can the lonely take the place of you”
4. The sex was good, but you’re still a douchebag.
Celine Dion – “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now”
“The were nights of endless pleasure, it was more than any laws allow”
5. I’d say this one speaks for itself.
Lily Allen- “F**k You”
“Cause we hate what you do and we hate your whole crew, so please don’t stay in touch”
6. I’m way too good for you anyways.
Stars – “Your Ex-Lover is Dead”
“This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin, you tried to reach deep but you couldn’t get in, now you’re outside me, you see all the beauty, repent all your sins”
7. God, you were such an a**hole.
Gotye – “Somebody That I Used to Know”
“Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over, part of me believed that it was always something that I’d done”
8. I’m 99.9% sure you’re gay.
Metric – “Gold Guns Girls”
“All the gold, and the guns, and the girls, couldn’t get you off”
9. Just let me cry.
Hootie and the Blowfish – “Let Her Cry”
“I wanted to look for you, you walked in I didn’t know just what I should do so I had sat back down, and had a beer, and felt sorry for myself”
10. Maybe if you weren’t so damn cute it would be easier to let go.
Dashboard Confessional – “Stolen”
“Clear liquor and cloudy eyed, too early to say goodnight”
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