I Am a Sunflower

Have you ever felt like a sunflower in September?

It’s easy to feel wilted like a flower in the fall. It’s easy to lose all of your confidence over time to something or someone. And while I and many others think that we are fine and repeatedly tell ourselves it’s okay, convincing yourself of a reality you so desperately want just becomes all too easy...until it completely falls apart. I’ve been through these seasons of change for the worse and I’ve felt that nothingness, that worthlessness and that feeling that no one wants you. Never being good enough for anything but trying your hardest for everything. It’s tiring. And waiting on someone to save you becomes redundant when you’re constantly let down. I’ve learned that you have to find the good. You have to dig yourself out of the toxic soil that you are in and replant under the warm glow of a yellow sun. You have to bloom yourself into spring and forget about the winter. Take all of your numbness and make it into something better that leaves you with the alive feeling on a hot summer day.

 

Wilted & Withered, But Still Alive

I’m a sunflower in September

I’m strong and vibrant in the early months

But as the months grows deeper into fall,

I also start to fall

And as the sun starts to fade in October,

So does my beautiful yellow color

And when November rolls around,

Not even the birds want me anymore

I’m wilted and withered

And I’ve given all that I can give

I have nothing left

And I’m lower to the ground than ever before

And just as my exterior is falling away from the sky,

My seeds are too

And while I thought my roots were firmly planted,

They seem to be dug up just fine

Now that December is here,

I’m completely stripped down

I’ve finally fallen with each brown petal carelessly plucked off

But with these fallen seeds I can come alive

And now I’m waiting for my my sun once more

To bring me into spring