I have spoken to quite a few history majors lately about how we are all feeling; 2020, and the first bit of 2021, has been horrifically exhausting. We have collectively lived through one of the most impactful global pandemics since the AIDS crisis of the 1980s and 1990s or, dare I say, the Black Death. The spring and summer forced us to examine the inequities and racial disparities that ravage the United States and, frankly, the world. Americans watched in horror as George Floyd called out for his mother as officers knelt on his neck and came to grips with the unjust killing of Breonna Taylor. We experienced the tragic deaths of Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Kobe Bryant, Alex Trebek, and many more. The 2020 election, and the aftermath that came with it felt like a five-year drama as it is. In the first four weeks of 2021 alone, we were met with a violent insurrection, an impeachment, an Inauguration, and the GameStop stock shooting to the moon against the wishes of hedge fund managers.
It has been a lot.
As a history major, I have felt like I have lived through, written, and edited 4 different history textbooks over the last year. Every time I turn around, the news is breaking, and a very old man in a very expensive suit is lamenting over the “unprecedented” moment we are living through. I’m not sure about you, but I am getting tired of living through “unprecedented” historical events. The 2020 and 2021 chapters of future textbooks are going to be 500 pages long, minimum. And I am not having a good time living through those 500 pages.
As a historian, I have been taught to be analytical and examine events in an in-depth manner. Although I am encouraged to react with emotion and empathy, my job is to not read historical documents with only my heart, but with my mind. I used to think that was the best way to do it- unattach yourself, learn, examine, and hope to educate others to avoid the cyclical nature of history. If 2020 and 2021 has taught me anything, it is that history is deeply emotional, and is far too much a humanitarian experience for it to be examined as a purely analytical expression.
I have also found myself becoming deeply obsessed with keeping track of the news and current events. Every moment I turn on the news, I find myself entranced and taking notes, realizing that “this is history.” I remember watching the Inauguration of Joe Biden and feeling inclined to take notes to be able to refer to it in historical discussions in the future. Honestly, I’m not sure this is a healthy way of coping with the intensity that was 2020 and is 2021.
The singular and common thread between myself and my fellow history majors is that we are exhausted.
It is incredibly difficult and emotionally draining to sit down and examine historical documents fully knowing that exact history is repeating itself or on the verge of repeating itself. I took a course outlining the history of the Black Death during a global pandemic. I took a historical analysis course pertaining to nuclear armament at the same time the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists moved the Doomsday clock to 100 seconds to midnight. Watching history happen, and especially watching it repeat itself, is exhausting. It begs the question, “Why am I even doing this? Why am I studying history to prevent the terrible moments from occurring if they occur no matter what?”
It is hard. To my fellow history majors, I feel for you. I know exactly how you feel, and how dejected you are feeling. But consider this:
How many hearts and minds were opened at the start of the summer as they witnessed Black Lives Matter push for equality due to the lessons they learned via history? How many Americans voted for the very first time due to their renewed understanding of how the vote impacts the historical results?
History is exhausting, at times. It is emotional, and it can be difficult to stay motivated as the world seems to constantly be in the center of the historical universe. However, try and remember that history does still have the power to create change and prevent disaster. Although much of the pain we felt this past year was avoidable if only the screaming historians were listened to, the learning is still occurring. The process of education is still here. It is still present. Do not give up your passionate craft due to the exhaustion because it is up to us to tell these stories for years to come.
We have lived through way too many historical events this year. But, history will continue to happen. It is up to the historians to keep everyone afloat and give us some hope.