As I near my last semester in college, I cannot help but reflect on my college experience thus far, and how much I’ve changed. My college experience has certainly been a whirlwind. But hey, these are the experiences that are *supposedly* going to change you for the better. I’ve surely had my share of ups and downs, of which I have had to learn how to cope on my own. I’d like to say I have gotten just a little bit wiser these past four years, and have gotten a taste of some of the harsh realities of college life. Here are some tough pills I’ve learned to swallow as a senior in college, (aka some of the major lessons that I have learned) so that you do not have to learn them the hard way like I did.
1. Stop comparing yourself. You’re simply never going to be able to keep up.
There will always be a new “it girl,” a new fashion trend, a new ideal body type. As much as you might want to conform to whatever the new ideal or standard is, you will never be able to keep up. It’s simply exhausting to keep up with every girl that you see on Instagram. Learn to love yourself instead.
2. Saying “no” is important. But saying “yes” is important too.
Sure, you need to learn how to prioritize yourself, set boundaries, and learn to say “no” when you need to. But saying “yes” is so important too. Some of my favorite college memories were spontaneous moments that I have so hesitantly agreed to. Say “yes” more.
3. Only you can help yourself.
Although I wish this was not true, no one can actually get inside your brain to know what you are always thinking and feeling. You need to learn how to advocate for yourself — whether it be with your professors, advisors, or friends. No one in college is here to help you, and your parents are not there to hold your hand along the way anymore. You need to become your biggest supporter and advocate because only you know what you truly need and deserve.
4. Not everyone will like you, and that’s okay.
For so long, I have tried seeking the validation of people in the wrong places — people that I honestly should not give one thought about. I have learned the hard way that not everyone will like you. I have come to realize that these people are not worth your time, and they are likely not the people you should be around anyway if they are that judgemental. Investing energy into people who love you for you is what is truly worth your time.
5. You will outgrow things and people you once loved.
People change. You will change. You are not the same person as you were your senior year of high school and your interests and the people that you surround yourself with should reflect that. You will outgrow people that you never thought you would, and that’s okay. It creates room for the amazing people you have yet to meet.
6. You have to seek out your own opportunities. Things won’t fall into your lap.
Although college is filled with opportunities, some of the greatest internships and experiences that I have had have come through my own exploration and Google searches. Nothing will be handed to you, so your initiative and drive can take you far and separate you from your peers. Even reaching out to a professor and expressing your interest in working with them on research or other projects can truly take you far. It never hurts to ask.
7. Set your boundaries and stick to them, People will try to break them.
I have struggled throughout my life to be a perfect people-pleaser. After being walked over and stretched too thin one too many times, I have learned to be so incredibly selfish. Do not bend over backward for someone who would not do the same for you at the cost of your happiness and the things you enjoy. Do not do things that inconvenience you for someone else’s benefit.
8. Going home is good for the soul.
It is truly okay to miss a weekend of college. I have reached points in my semester where I would be overwhelmed and drained, yet still force myself to be social and hang out with my friends simply because of my fear of missing out. This will make you more overwhelmed than before and is an endless cycle that often can be fixed with a change of pace and scenery. Resetting is so important in college, and if you are fortunate enough to be able to go home, you should.
9. You probably won’t meet the person you are going to marry.
I came into college dead set on the fact that I was going to find my husband, and I will not lie, a little part of me gets crushed every time I see my friends fall in and out of relationships while I stand alone. I have come to realize that it is simply not my time, and that’s okay. Most boys do not know what they want and are simply not looking to settle down, and it is not worth getting hurt over them. Enjoy college for what it is, and do not force anything that is not meant to be.
10. Loneliness is a given.
You have to learn to be okay with the company of just yourself. No one will hold your hand throughout life, it is only you that will take you through it. I wrote an article on this during my sophomore year of college as I found myself struggling with this idea, but since then I have found myself to be my favorite kind of company. You are never truly alone in your own presence, and learning to accept this is one of the biggest lessons that I have learned in college.
11. Being disciplined and keeping a routine is vital.
If you are not holding yourself accountable, you will simply lose yourself. As a person who thrives off of a routine, I need to plan out my days and schedule to stay sane (waking up early to go to the gym will always be worth it). Prioritizing yourself and keeping yourself in check is what will allow you to thrive mentally, physically, and academically — and it all begins with discipline.
12. You will experience some of your highest highs and lowest lows.
But that’s what college is all about after all. The same apartment where you dance with your roommates without a worry in the world will be the same place you experience your first heartbreak. And you will always get through it. No matter how difficult it may seem. Everything will always work out. It will shape you into the person that you become.
College will never be what you expect, but that’s the beauty of it. Take it for what it is, never take it for granted, and enjoy the season of life that you are in. It will slip away far too quickly, but you will be left with some of the most beautiful memories, friends, and lessons to bring with you as you carry through your life.