Spooky season is upon us at last! This means two things:
1. Autumnal enthusiasm is my only personality trait and,
2. My astrology series is taking a Halloween twist.
Astrology is a fun tool that assigns traits to an individual based on where certain constellations were at the time of their birth. Interestingly enough, everything, human or not, has a zodiac birth chart that can be found using the launch date, grand opening, etc. to obtain an astrological profile!
In this article, I take cult classic Halloween movies and determine what zodiac sign best encapsulates their vibe. Disagree if you dare, let’s get started:
Aries: Scream (1996)
March 21 — April 19
What better movie for the first sign of the Zodiac than the film that revolutionized horror movies forever? Aries, the trailblazing fire sign, full of passion and an eagerness to break the rules, perfectly represents what Wes Craven did with Scream.
Commonly referred to as the first horror movie where the characters actually know they’re in a horror movie, the doors of possibility to meta and satirical screenplay were opened to Hollywood. For its intelligent risk-taking, and leading prominence in the horror genre, I believe Scream and the Ram fit undoubtedly well together.
Taurus: Hocus Pocus (1993)
April 20 — May 20
This reliable classic beloved by all ages represents the homey, nostalgic air of Taurus to a T. For a sign that revels in simple comforts and groundedness, Hocus Pocus never fails to make me feel like a kid again when I watch it. Like many others, it was the first “scary” movie I ever watched, right on Disney Channel.
The Sanderson sisters always provide reliable entertainment, with fun musical numbers and comedy mixed in with some not-too-scary scenes, which makes this movie perfect for gentle earth sign Taurus.
Gemini: Scary Movie (2000)
May 21 — June 20
Speaking of the Hollywood doors that Scream opened up, Scary Movie said “Alright bet, let me make a joke out of this,” in true Gemini fashion. This is truly one of the funniest “horror films” I’ve ever watched and the perfect movie to watch with a group of friends.
This hilarious and witty air sign loves all things playful, making it the perfect match for the first movie of the most unserious and beloved horror franchises in film.
Cancer: It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (1966)
June 21 — July 22
Anything Charlie Brown-related is sure to make you feel as comforted and safe as a loving Cancer, the mother hen of the Zodiac. The beautiful, warm animation of this movie is sure to stir some emotions of nostalgia for childhood in anyone who watched it every Halloween as a kid.
As the first water sign of the Zodiac, the comfort and longing this movie generates is perfect for nurturing Cancer.
Leo: The Addams Family (1991)
July 23 — Aug. 22
A solid case could honestly be made for every character in this movie being a Leo, but that’s not even the point. The drama and the extravagance of all of the kooky characters combined is what secures The Addams Family its spot as this charismatic fire sign.
This family is not only theatrical, but all have such an alluring presence that they can’t help but draw attention to themselves, for better or worse. Leos are magnetic people, just like this movie that no one can stay away from, evident through all of its remakes, and Netflix’s Wednesday.
Virgo: Halloweentown (1998)
Aug. 23 — Sept. 22
Oh, there’s a plight of evil threatening to take over Halloweentown and the entire world? Call a Virgo. Or Marnie I guess.
The most reliable, perfectionist of the Zodiac, this earth sign is well suited to solve any problem or mystery that comes their way. Just like Halloweentown’s iconic sibling trio, the potentials of a Virgo are limitless, and once they get an idea in their head, good luck stopping them.
libra: Practical Magic (1998)
Sept. 23 — Oct. 22
This incredibly fun and flirty movie starring Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman is just as charming as Miss “it-girl” Libra. Two witch sisters who are super sexy and whose boyfriends keep accidentally dying because they’re cursed? Sounds like a problem this air sign would have.
Through using their bubbly charm, the Owens sisters solve their problem in a way that would make the Scales of Libra proud.
Scorpio: Jennifer’s Body (2009)
Oct. 23 — Nov. 21
I don’t know how else to describe this movie other than: hot. What better film to match up with mysterious and alluring Scorpio?
Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried make a deadly combo (quite literally) in this sexy, enticing, homoerotic slasher. Commonly referred to as one of the greats in “feminist horror,” if you’re into man-eating, you’ll surely love this film that is up to par with the intensity of this water sign.
Sagittarius: coraline (2009)
Nov. 22 — Dec. 21
This is undoubtedly the scariest film on the list for me, but I know that this fearless fire sign can handle it. The true Sagittarius spirit is one of adventure and curiosity, like young Coraline who perhaps lets her inquisitive nature get the best of her, landing her in the Other World.
But not to worry, give a Sag their freedom and they won’t disappoint you, just like how this brave protagonist saved the day in the end.
(P.S. Those of you who call this a comfort movie terrify me and I will never cross you.)
Capricorn: The Sixth Sense (1999)
Dec. 22 — Jan. 19
The details of this film are impeccably intelligent, just like our hardworking and meticulous earth sign, Capricorn. The shining star of M. Night Shyamalan’s impressive filmography, this movie has the ultimate plot twist of all plot twists.
While the film is more of a thriller than a horror movie, “I see dead people” is one of the most iconic lines associated with spooky season. In fact, the scariest part about this movie might just be how many clues you pick up on the second time you watch it. I would only trust a Capricorn to plot something so impressive.
Aquarius: Beetlejuice (1988)
Jan. 20 — Feb. 18
Tim Burton’s classic, Beetlejuice, showed us what true camp was decades before the Met Gala could even lay their fingers on it. Naturally, I am assigning this incredibly fun and kooky movie, to the most creative and independent of the signs, Aquarius.
This air sign is a free-thinking individual who is non-conforming to societal expectations, just like the incredible and unexplainable plot points of this 80s staple.
Pisces: Corpse Bride (2005)
Feb. 19 — March 20
Yet another Tim Burton classic, the brooding and longing captured in this animated masterpiece encapsulate our final sign of the Zodiac flawlessly. Aside from the fact that Victor and Emily are both such Pisces, the tangible melancholy of the film’s aesthetic and soundtrack make it a perfect match for this water sign.
Not only is the movie visually beautiful, but it’s also entertaining with just enough Burton spook factor, kind of like Pisces when they’re upset.
final thoughts
Normally I feel the need to apologize at the end of articles in this series… but there is no need for that now as it’s impossible to be assigned a bad Halloween movie because there are none.
Till next time, happy fall, and happy happy Halloween!